


Lost

by irontallica666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Completed, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Highschool AU, M/M, casdean - Freeform, destiel hs!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3442379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irontallica666/pseuds/irontallica666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean just moved again, and again, he has to start on another high school. Just like all the other times, he will get used to the kids, and then they will move again. Like always. He never makes any friends, what is the point if they never stay in one place? But this time, it's different. He can't stay away from this guy, Castiel, and it leads him to things he never thought that would ever happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I uploaded this story on Wattpad, so it is already complete. I will try to upload all the chapters as soon as possible.  
> I hope you like it :)

Dean Winchester looked out of the car window as they drove into the new town. Another new town. He had stopped counting the towns they went to a while ago, simply because there were too much.

It was always the same; he, his father, John and his little brother Sam would move into a new town, they'd go to school, and after a few weeks John decided to move on. Sometimes they'd go to a motel, and sometimes John rented a house.

He sighed, and looked at Sammy in the backseat. He wished Sam didn't have to live this life of always moving around. Sam still had the urge to make friends, and Dean knew one day, Sam would get tired of it. But for now, he just had to see Sam make new friends and be happy with them till he had to say goodbye.

This time, John had found a cheap house. He parked the car, and told Dean to get the few bags they had and bring them inside with Sam. Dean nodded and got out of the car to get the bags. He brought them inside and when he put them down, he heard the Impala driving away. When he got outside, Sam was standing there, looking at the house.

"Where's dad?" Dean asked.

"He said he went to a school to write us in," Sam replied.

Dean sighed. He didn't like school. He'd rather get a job so he could get Sam food when John was broke again. He put on a somewhat happy face for Sam, and they got inside. 

It was a small house, with a kitchen, a bathroom, and 2 bedrooms. Dean was happy he and Sam had to share a bedroom, that way he could easily look out for him, and help him when he had a nightmare.

But that was not the only reason. John would often come home drunk, and Dean wanted to protect Sam from him. He knew how his dad would act when he was drunk. Sometimes he was happy, but other times he'd just throw stuff around the room, screaming and yelling. Dean always tried to calm him down, telling Sam was asleep, telling he would lock the door and clean the house. Most of the times, it worked, and John went to his room, falling asleep while Dean cleaned up the mess his dad made.

Dean had just cooked when John came home. He told the boys he had found a school for them. They both went to the same school, but in a different building. Sam, 13 years old would go to Junior High School, eighth grade. Dean would go to Senior High school since he was 17. They ate in silence and after dinner, John went out again. Both Sam and Dean knew what he was gonna do, but they didn't talk about it.

Dean let Sam watch some cartoons before he told him to go to bed. "I'll wake you up tomorrow," he said, as he tucked Sam in.

"Thanks, Dean. Good night."

Dean looked a moment before he said "good night, Sammy, sleep well" and closed the door.

He sat in the kitchen till John came home, and luckily, he wasn't as drunk as always. He went straight to his room, and Dean cleaned up a bit before he pulled his phone out of his pocket, turned the alarm on, and went to sleep next to Sam.

The next morning, Dean woke up by the alarm, and turned around to wake Sam. "Sammy, get dressed, it's time for school," he said, and Sam nodded. Dean stood up and made breakfast for Sam. He slept in his clothes most of the time, it was easier and he didn't want to take the covers from Sam. Once they ate breakfast, Dean packed some slices of bread for Sam's lunch, and they got in the car. He drove Sam to school and said he'd be there to pick him up when the day was over. He watched Sam go inside, and sighed again. 

Dean drove around, not wanting to go to school. His dad wouldn’t even care of he went anyways. After a few minutes, he came by a place called ‘Singer Autos’. It was a garage, and he went inside where he saw only one man.

The man turned around and raised his eyebrows. "Hey, you need a car to be fixed?" he asked.

"No," Dean replied. "I was just driving around when I saw this place."

The man looked confused. "You were driving around? How old are you?"

 Dean told him he was 17, but he had been driving since he was 15. They talked about the Impala and some other cars and Dean decided this was the place he needed. 

"Can I get a job here?" he asked.

The man looked at Dean. "I assume you know some things, and I could use some help. You can just come by whenever you want, but please, promise me, you will go to school too. You need your education," he said.

Dean just looked away. "Meh, we're always driving around so I'd rather have a job and earn some money," he explained.

"Why? Your parents don't think education is important?"

"My dad doesn't care and neither do I. As long as I can earn some money, I'm fine with not going to school," Dean replied. He hadn't said anything about his mom.

"Well, let me tell you: when you go to school, you graduate; you can get a better job. I'm Bobby by the way. Bobby Singer." Bobby said. "I usually don't shake hands, unless you really have the need for oil on your hands?"

Dean smiled, he knew what it was like to have oil on your hands and it was not a pleasant feeling. "Dean. Dean Winchester," he said.

"Well you seem like a good boy, what are ya doing in this town anyways?"

"Dad decided we had to move again, and we ended up here," Dean mumbled, not really wanting to talk about his family. But he knew what question he would get next.

"And your daddy doesn't throw you into school once he finds out you're here? I mean, I don't mind having another mechanic here, but I don't want trouble with parents." Bobby said.

"No, he doesn't really care where I am. Lucky me," Dean replied sarcastically. The way he sounded made Bobby stop talking about family.

"In that case, you're always welcome here, but you gotta go to school too. It's too educational to just leave behind, boy."

Dean thought about it and then nodded. John didn't want any phone calls from school so he'd better attend some classes.

He and Bobby talked for another while and then Bobby just gave Dean a car to work on. Dean liked it, Bobby was easy to be around so far, he didn't ask as much questions about everything, and knew when to stop talking.

They worked till 4pm and then Dean had to pick up Sam. After promising Bobby he'd go to school and work after, he drove away.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Meanwhile, Castiel Novak was sitting in class. Castiel was a normal guy, he was not popular, but he also wasn't getting bullied. He didn't have any friends besides Charlie, an awesome girl that fell for girls. She would text him with a picture she sneaky made somewhere and ask him if he thought the girl was hot or not. They did hang out together but he was not as social as she was. Sometimes he asked himself why she was still friends with him, but she assured him every time she wasn't gonna leave him.

Most of the time, Castiel could be found in the school's library, or at home with his nose in a book. He loved reading, it would get his mind off other things. He did not really have any problems, but his mother was concerned about the fact he only had one friend. She had asked him if he liked Charlie in a more-than-friends-way, which caused him to roll his eyes and tell her Charlie didn't swing that way.

Yesterday, the teacher told them there would be a new guy coming to this school. Castiel was surprised, this town was not really known well. He drifted away in his thoughts about a book he was reading when the teacher called his name.

"Sorry Mr. Crowley, what did you say?"

The teacher sighed. "I asked if you could show the new kid around a bit since he is new here," he said.

"Sure," Castiel replied. "I'll gladly help him Mr."

And now Castiel was sitting in the school hall, waiting for the new guy to arrive. The teacher had said his name was Dean Winchester. He didn't know what to expect, and just sat there, asking himself why he had said yes. He wasn't good at socializing. But maybe, this Dean would be nice to talk to.

He waited for an hour, and started to wonder if Dean would ever show up. Maybe Dean was one of those guys that make you wait for a long time and still expect you to kiss the floor they walked on. Castiel didn't know but he knew one thing for sure: whoever Dean was, he was certainly not gonna kiss the floor he walked on.

After another hour of waiting, Castiel decide to give up and go to the library. This guy wasn't going to show up anyways. He sighed and took a book out of his bag and started reading as he waited for the next class.

During lunch, Charlie asked what was wrong since Castiel was totally lost in his thoughts. He told her he was supposed to show around a new guy, and thought maybe the guy would befriend him, but now, nobody has shown up.

Charlie cheered him up and told him he didn't have to worry. "Hey, you've got me! Or am I not good enough for you?" she asked, jokingly, bur Castiel was not in the mood.

"Charlie of course you're good enough but it would be nice to have another friend, so you're not the only one who is stuck with me," he explained, after which Charlie sushed him.

"Castiel Novak, you are a very dear friend of mine and I really like your company so don't ever say such a thing about yourself!" she used her mother-voice. "And besides, who else can check out the girls for me, huh?"

"You're lucky I do those things for you, Charles. Not everyone is willing to check out every girl's ass to see if it's the right one."

"That's right; you know I owe you for every time you check them out. But seriously, maybe Dean just didn't want to be "the new kid"? Or he got lost on his way? Or-"

She was cut off by Castiel, who just stated that "no one can get lost in a shit-town as this one". He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today.

Why did he even think Dean would want to spend time with him? He was just supposed to show Dean around in school, and he was gonna do nothing more. He was so deep in his thoughts about Dean that he didn't hear Charlie until she poked him in his ribs.

"Ouch! What was that good for?"

"You were day dreaming my dear Cassie, and I already know about what. Or shall i say... who?" Charlie replied.

"Charles, don't say it. I was just hoping maybe I would have another person to talk to so I won't have to listen to you all the time," he said jokingly, but Charlie knew where this was going.

"Ok, listen up here. Tomorrow, this Dean guy is gonna show up, and you are gonna show him around. If he likes you and wants to be your friend, he'll show it. And if not, I’m here with chocolate to cheer you up because honestly, I'm a better friend than whoever you're gonna befriend in the future!"

Castiel smiled and nodded. "Thanks Charles, I love how it started as a cheer-up but ended with praising you."

They both laughed, and then Castiel just talked about the book he was currently reading. They talked till lunch was over and then went back to their classes.

As the day went on, he didn't think about Dean anymore, too focused on either the class or the book waiting for him at home.

Once he got home, he did some homework and then read until past midnight. As he finished his book, he sighed and laid down, almost falling asleep when one thought crossed his mind. He had to show around Dean, if the guy showed up.

"Well, about time I showed some social interaction," was the last thought before he closed his eyes.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Dean decided to go to school. He woke Sam up, made breakfast and they went to school. As he dropped Sam off at his school, he saw Sam walking to some people and say hey. The fact that Sam had friends already made him both happy and sad at the same time. He was happy Sam was still able to make friends that quick but he also knew Sam had to say goodbye again in a few weeks. He sighed and drove off to his own school, a boring looking grey building.

After he parked the Impala and made sure no one could hurt her, he walked inside. He saw all the people going to their classes and realized he should have brought a bag, but unfortunately, the only bag he had was the one his clothes were in and he didn't know where to put his clothes elsewhere since he had told Sam he could use the closet.

He walked to a room that looked like the principal's office and knocked. A woman walked to the door and opened it for him. "Oh you must be the new guy, Dean Wince... Win..?" she said as she tried to get his name right. 

"Winchester, Miss." He corrected her. "And yea that's me. We arrived here yesterday."

She looked at him. "Yesterday? Then why weren't you at school yesterday?" Dean sighed again, it was always the same.

"Why weren't you at school? Why did you skip that class? Why didn't you make your homework?" he was so tired of the same questions everywhere he went, and the fact that he couldn't explain what was happening at home didn't make it any better.

"I was searching for a job Miss," he explained. She nodded before she told him she expected him to be at school from now, and all the other things they always said.

Dean drifted off and thought about it. He shouldn't have come at all, just work every day and save some money so maybe one day he would finally have enough to get Sammy and leave their dad. But that wouldn't be happening any time soon, so here he was, sitting in this stupid office, with this stupid woman who thought she could order him to go to school. No one besides his dad ordered him.

"Will Castiel Novak please come to the principal's office? I repeat, will Castiel Novak please come to the principal's office?"

Castiel sat up as soon as he heard his name. The principal's office? He had done nothing wrong, did he? He packed his stuff and followed by the looks of his classmates, he walked out of the classroom. He thought about the things he had done past week, and as far as he knew he hadn't been drunk or high or skipped any classes. It wasn't something he usually did so he wondered what was wrong.

As he attended the principal's office, still confused he saw someone standing there and without even thinking about it, he knew it was Dean Winchester. Dark brown boots, jeans, well fitting plain black shirt, a flannel and a brown, and a leather jacket that looked like it had been worn for years. But that wasn't the only thing. Dean had dark brown hair that was standing a bit, and Castiel wanted to pull his hand through it.

As he came closer he noticed maybe the best part about Dean: his eyes. Dean's eyes were green, but not the shade of green you saw by some people on the street. No, this green was a bright, beautiful and staring-right-through-your-soul-green. It was impossible to look away from.

"Castiel, this is Dean Winchester, you were supposed to show him around yesterday but he didn't show up." Dean got a glare but he didn't seem to notice it.

"Would you like to do it today? Castiel?" Castiel snapped out of his trance and blushed a bit.

"I'm sorry Miss, I will do it today," he said, looking at the ground.

Dean hadn't known what to expect of this Castiel guy who was supposed to show him around, but it was anything he would never expect. When he sat there, the woman, he hadn't even asked her name, told him Castiel was coming. Before he could even thing about the weird name, he looked out of the window and held his breath.

The guy was wearing the usual clothes, jeans and shirt, but there was something else. He wore a slightly too big trench coat, and usually trench coats didn't look good on people but it did on Castiel. And the hair.. damn. His hair looked like he had just stepped right out of his bed. Castiel walked closer, and Dean noticed his eyes, big, bright and blue as the ocean on a sunny day.

He didn't listen to the woman, introducing him, but kept staring. Castiel did the same, but then realized he was staring and quickly looked at the ground, blushing a bit. Dean would never admit it in public, but the blush made Castiel really cute.

They walked away from the office and there was a silence for a few minutes when Castiel had the guts to talk to Dean. "How about we just go to the classroom and I'll just kinda show you around during the whole day?"

Dean nodded but said nothing. Castiel felt a bit sad and didn't talk any more till they walked into the classroom.

"Ah, I see you brought the new guy in. good to see you had no trouble with the principal, Castiel."

The teacher turned to Dean. "You must be Dean, hello and welcome. I'm Mr. Crowley and I teach Math. Now, introduce yourself and then you can sit next to Castiel."

 _Shit,_ Castiel thought.  _Why next to me? Why? There are plenty of empty seats here._ But he didn't show anything and went to his seat with a blank face.

"Well as you heard Mr. Crowley say, I'm Dean, and there is no use in getting to know me because I will probably be leaving in a few weeks again," Dean said and walked to his seat next to Castiel. Castiel handed him the book, and Dean just looked at it before giving it back.

"I don't need to know this" he explained. Castiel took the book but let it slip, which caused both Castiel and Dean to grab the book before it fell. They felt their hands slightly brush against each other before Dean pulled away and Castiel quickly placed the book on his table.

Deans hand had felt rough, but also soft. Castiel knew he was screwed. He knew he would long to feel that touch again, but he also knew it would never happen again. He sighed and tried to think about the book he was currently reading to get his mind off Dean.

"Cas? Are you there? Hello?" He looked up and saw Dean, waving his hand in front of Castiel's face. "Hey, you were pretty far away, I guess. You didn't even hear the bell ring," Dean said, staring at Castiel.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, I will just.." Castiel started to get his books into his bags but suddenly stopped.

"Wait, what did you call me?" Dean blushed and said sorry.

"I'm used to shorten people's names, but I will just call you Castiel."

Castiel shook his head. "No I actually like it, it's just.. nobody has came up with that one yet. But you can call me Cas, if you want to" he explained.

"Cassie!! I'm so glad to see you I need you to check out tha- oohhhhh are you Dean? The guy that was supposed to come yesterday and let my poor Cassie wait for you?"

"Charlie, please, calm down," but it still made Castiel smile. He was happy to see Charlie.

"Yes, this is Dean. Dean, this is Charlie, my best friend." He saw Dean look at Charlie and smile. It made him a bit jealous, but he couldn't figure out why.

"No need to check me out, I don't swing that way." Charlie told Dean and he immediately turned red.

"I wasn't.. I.." he stumbled but Charlie just laughed.

"I was kidding, but it's still true. Come on, I see a free table over there!" She grabbed both Castiel and Dean's arms and walked over to the table.

As they ate lunch, Dean started to get used to Charlie's behavior, on which she complemented him. "Most people need a few days before they can hang out with me without looking weird all the time. You and Cassie are the only ones who got used to me that quickly," she explained, laughing.

Dean just nodded and kept eating his lunch. He liked Charlie, she was a nice girl, and the way she and Cas acted around each other was really nice. He saw she cared for him, which is probably why she gave him that weird nickname. He also liked Cas, there was just something about him that he couldn't let go. But he had to. He had learned from past mistakes of being friends, and didn't want to say goodbye any more.

He decided to just deal with it and staying with Cas and Charlie, maybe those 2 could make his time here a bit better before he had to leave. The only thing he needed to do was not to get too close with any of them.

 


	4. Chapter 4

As the day went on, Dean just walked with Castiel to his classes, since they had the same, and kept his mouth shut. Castiel was debating whether he should talk to Dean or not. Dean hadn't said much since lunch, and he didn't seem to be the talking one but the silence was extremely awkward. He decided to just go straight with Dean by asking what was wrong.

"Is something wrong?" Dean snapped out of his thoughts.

"No, why do you ask?" he looked at the guy next to him. Castiel... wasn't that an angel's name? He certainly didn't look like one with that trench coat he never seemed to take off and the bed/sex-hair.

"You don't talk, is it because you don't like me? I'm sorry you got stuck with me, if you want I can just draw you a map and leave you alone from now on..?" Castiel said, but it sounded like a question.

Dean thought about it, he wouldn't have to be friends with this Castiel, and there wouldn't be any goodbyes when they left town, which was nice.

"Nah, it's okay," he said, deciding it was better to walk around with Castiel instead of looking like a total nerd that needed a map because he wanted to be everywhere in time. Castiel still didn't look happy though.

"Hey, thanks, I uh... really appreciate you showing me around." He said and saw Castiel lighten up. "Do you have other friends beside Charlie?" how the hell did he and Charlie come to be friends anyways? It was one of the weirdest combinations he had ever seen, the silent Castiel and the always-happy-and-hyperactive Charlie.

"Charlie is my only friend, I'm really happy with her." Castiel answered and Dean suddenly felt sorry for him. He knew how it was without friends, but Castiel didn't leave every time after a few weeks.

"Why? You seem like a nice guy," Dean said without thinking. He mentally slapped himself; Castiel would probably expect him to befriend him now.

But Castiel seemed to be used to this question. "I don't know." He shrugged. "At least I don't get bullied so I'm happy with what I got."

They got to the classroom and Dean took the place next to Castiel before he realized it. "I hope I didn't take anyone else's place..?" he asked but Castiel laughed.

"Nobody ever sits here, or anywhere next to me, so don't worry." Again, Dean felt a flash of sadness for the guy. Even if he laughed about it, he saw the pain in his blue eyes. As if Castiel read his mind, he smiled sadly. "I don't expect you to befriend me. If you don't want to be friends, it's okay, I was only supposed to show you around, so I'll just do my job."

Again, Dean just looked at Castiel. Damn, those eyes were really fascinating. Without thinking about it, he looked at Castiel's chapped lips and felt the small urge to touch them.

"Everyone be quit, I want to start." A voice said, and Dean looked away from Castiel, not responding to what he just said about being friends. He didn't want to be friends with anyone but this guy... He didn't even ask for it, and it still woke a bit of Dean's inside up. A part that knew what it was like to be friends with anyone, without counting Sammy. "I..." he started, but the teacher shut him up.

"Winchester, I assume you are Winchester, even if you are new here doesn't give you the right to talk during my class." She snapped. Damn, this teacher was a real bitch. "I'm Miss Talbot, I teach History, and right now, class is starting so you can shut up like the rest of you."

Even Dean, known for his cocky attitude at all the other schools, didn't dare to say a word till class ended. As he and Castiel walked out of the classroom, he sighed. "Damn, how did you survive it here all the time?" Castiel chuckled and told Dean he just ignored her and worked on his assignments. He understood everything and Miss Talbot always chose the one's that didn't understand anything to ask questions, so Castiel was safe.

Since History was their last class of the day, Dean went to go to pick up Sam. He told Castiel he'd see him the next day, and heard a small "bye" when he turned around and walked to his car. He drove to Sam's school, and Sam was already waiting for him.

"Hiya Sammy, how was school today?" Dean asked. Sam told him the usual things as they drove home.

"By the way, I've been waiting for you; school ends half an hour earlier than yours on Wednesday." Dean promised to pick up Sam earlier next week, and he pulled over when they reached the house.

As they went inside, the house was as empty as they expected. John had gotten a small job somewhere and he wouldn't come home until dinner. Dean started making dinner and told Sam to do his homework. Sam whined a little, but pulled out his homework when he knew he wouldn't convince Dean to let him watch cartoons.

"Tonight, when homework is done," Dean promised. He made a simple meal, and realized he needed to go to the grocery store tomorrow. He still had some money left, so he'd take Sam with him and go right after school.

The next day, Dean woke up by Sam, calling his name and shaking him. "Dean, we're gonna be late!" He reached to his phone and found out it the battery had died last night, which explained why his alarm didn't go off. He jumped out of bed, told Sam he'd make a quick breakfast and ran downstairs. He shook his head to wake up, but it only worked a little.

After he had brought Sammy to bed last night, he had waited till 3am for his dad to come home. And it wasn't even necessary; John had stumbled inside and went to bed without even looking at his son.

Still, Dean would always wait till he was sure John had gone to bed before going to sleep himself. If there was only one day he went to sleep earlier and John would do something and Dean wasn't there, they'd have big problems.

Sam stumbled downstairs, and smiled when Dean handed him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "C'mon, I made your lunch and if I drive fast, you'll be at school on time." He didn't even care if he would be on time himself, Sammy was much more important. He was right, and Sam went out of the car just as the bell rang. He told him bye and Dean wished him a good day. He sighed, and drove to his own school, being surprised by Castiel who was waiting for him.

"Castiel? Why haven't you gone to class yet?" he asked, though he knew the answer already.

"I waited for you; I am supposed to you around, aren't I?" Dean felt his heart melt a little. That was so nice, Castiel didn't even know him, Dean hadn't even replied to what he had said about being friends, and he still waited for Dean.

"Thanks..." he murmured and they got inside.

Of course, the teacher, which was Mr. Crowley again, asked why they were late. Castiel said Dean had been on time but had to wait for Castiel since he needed to go to his locker first. Dean wondered why he'd say that, he could've said Dean had been too late, Dean didn't even care what others thought about him.

"Why did you do that?" he asked Castiel as soon as they sat down.

"Oh, I just didn't want to get you in trouble in your first week," Castiel replied, and smiled. Dean smiled back, and they didn't talk for the rest of class.

They ate lunch with Charlie again, and she didn't even bother that Dean was silent. She and Castiel talked about a girl she saw, and asked what he thought of her. His reply was something Dean didn't expect.

"She looks good, but remember, beauty is on the inside. She may look nice, but if she's a little bitch, you'll drop her right away, okay? You deserve someone who adores you more than anything." Charlie aww'ed and told him she loved him. Castiel smiled in response as if he said 'I know'.

Dean thought about it. He had picked up some girls, but mostly because they were attractive and besides, most of them left him right for another guy. He didn't miss them; he wasn't able to have a relationship anyways. Not only because they were never anywhere for more than 2 months, but also because he had Sammy to take care of. Girls didn't seem to understand why his little brother was so important to him, even more important than himself.

As the day ended, Dean told Castiel he'd be on time tomorrow, and left to pick up Sam. They drove to the grocery store where they got food, and Dean drove right to Bobby. "Dean, where are we going?" Sam asked him.

"We're going to my work, we need some money. Do you mind doing your homework in a garage?" Sam didn't mind, he had been doing homework in garages before, he knew Dean had to work to get them food.

They arrived at Bobby's and Sam liked the old man instantly. Bobby didn't mind having Sam around, and he even told him to go sit inside, at the table. He poured Sam a glass of lemonade, and gave him a cookie, making Sam look like he was in heaven.

When Bobby asked Dean about it, Dean decided he could trust the man and told him he took care of Sam because their dad was away most of the time. Bobby nodded and didn't ask anything else. He knew if Dean wanted to talk about it, he would start himself.

And he was right, at the end of the day, when Bobby told Dean he had worked enough for today, Dean thanked him. He was silent for a minute, and then told Bobby his dad had a job too, but only so he could get drunk at night. Bobby listened, and said Dean could bring Sam here any time he wanted, since Sam seemed to have a good time at Bobby's house. Dean thanked him again, and got Sam to get home and make dinner.

Friday, the last day before the weekend, went the same as the other days. Dean walked around with Castiel, even if he knew how to get everywhere now. They ate lunch with Charlie and went to their classes, sitting together.

They didn't talk much, but it was good enough for both of them. Dean because he enjoyed the company of Castiel and he wouldn't ask as much questions as everyone else always did. Castiel knew Dean had his reasons for not talking about being friends again, but he accepted it and was happy with Dean by his side, even when they didn't talk.

At the end of the day, both Dean and Castiel were happy the weekend was finally there.

Castiel had planned on going to the library Saturday and spend the rest of his weekend reading and texting Charlie. He didn't really have any social media, since he wasn't very social at all. He did not need it though; books were enough to make him happy.

Dean knew he could take Sam to Bobby's, letting him watch cartoons and do his homework while he worked. He liked Bobby's garage. It wasn't big, but it felt comfortable to walk around there, and he had always liked working with cars. He was happy Bobby wasn't someone who refused Dean before he could even show them what he could do. That was one of the good things of John, he had taught Dean how to repair a car when Dean was 13, and started driving lessons when he was 15.

Dean and Castiel walked out of the school doors, and as usual Castiel told him bye. "And have a nice weekend," he added.

"Thanks. You too," Dean smiled and opened his car door. Castiel started walking when Dean called him once more.

"Cas?" Castiel felt his heart flutter a little when he heard Dean use his own nickname for him. He turned around and lifted his eyebrow, wondering what Dean had to tell him.

"Hmm?" he answered.

Dean smiled once more. "I would like to be your friend."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all I will post for today. I hoped you lied it so far. Please, let me know! Thanks for reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

The weekend went pretty smoothly. Dean worked in Bobby's garage both Saturday and Sunday while Sam enjoyed himself with Bobby's books. He has always been the nerd, and Dean knew he's gonna get Sam to college, no matter the cost. Hell, he would drop out of school any time to get a fulltime job so he has the money for when it's time. The only reason he hadn't dropped out yet was because Sam didn't want him to. Sam thought Dean could actually learn something and didn't want Dean's life wasted because he would go to college later.

On Sunday, Dean got the money from Bobby for his work. He nodded, thanked Bobby and walked away, putting the money in his wallet when he noticed something.

"Bobby, I think you counted it wrong. You gave me double," he said as he held the money out so Bobby could take it back.

Bobby just smiled. He hadn't counted it wrong; he knew exactly how much he had given Dean. "You deserve it, boy. Buy yourself and your brother something nice."

Dean couldn't help but feel his heart warm at that. He had liked Bobby when they first met, but now he realized how much of a father figure Bobby was. "Thank you, thank you so much," Dean said.

Bobby laughed. "You don't have to thank me every time I pay you. You have done your job well, and I could really use some help." Dean just smiled and went to get Sammy.

When they got home, Dean promised himself he would buy Sammy something nice. Dean did the best he can to give Sam the normal life he deserved, but he knew it wasn't easy for him with a father that was away all the time and a brother that raised him but didn't have enough time to act like a brother.

Sam liked books; he had heard him talking about this series, Harry Potter. Maybe they got those books somewhere. He put the money in a safe place and made dinner, let Sam watch some cartoons and brought him to bed. He was still smiling as he went to bed himself, 4 hours later.

Castiel had spent his weekend, reading, but also thinking. "I would like to be your friend," Dean had said. He smiled so much he thought his face was gonna break. A friend, he had a new friend! He had texted Charlie right when he got home Friday, and she was really happy for him.

_Charlie: that doesn't mean you're gonna leave me behind, right?_

_Castiel: of course not! You are my best friend, Charlie. I just have a second friend now but that doesn't mean I would leave you. I can never do that_

_Charlie: I was just joking, but yay! He's cute tho_

_Castiel: thought you didn't swing that way? Changed your mind by seeing Dean? You wouldn't be the only one fancying him_

_Charlie: haha no, I still need you to check out girls for me. But if you wanna check out Dean too, it's okay ;)_

_Castiel: wait what? Why would I do that?_

_Charlie: well, you must admit he IS cute._

_Castiel: Charlie... if you are trying to match me with Dean I'm honestly gonna kill you Monday_

_Charlie: don't you have better things to do on Monday?_

_Castiel: like what?_

_Charlie: well, it's Monday, school, Dean... y'know_

_Castiel: Charlie, stop it. I'm serious. He is my friend, let's leave it that way_

_Charlie: okay... for now 0:)_

Castiel knew it was useless to get Charlie's mind off an idea once she got it. He sighed and hoped for the best Monday. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't wait to see Dean again. Dean, his  _friend._  He smiled at the thought and spent the rest of his time reading the newest Harry Potter book.

When school was starting again on Monday, Castiel and Dean met up outside and talked a bit. Castiel liked this Dean, talking to him. He learned he had a little brother, Sam, who was nothing like Dean. He wanted to grow up studying, reading, and becoming a lawyer, while Dean's only though was getting money for Sam to live his dream. Castiel smiled at that, Dean seemed like someone you wouldn't expect to do so much for his little brother.

As the week went by, Dean and Castiel talked more and more, causing some really meaningful looks from Charlie.

It was surprisingly calm at the Winchester's house, John still coming home late every night, but he hadn't lost his control once this week. Dean was really glad John hadn't done anything; he was so tired and probably couldn't handle another time cleaning up John's mess.

Another week passed and Dean could easily say Castiel has been the best friend he has ever had. He didn't ask, didn't want anything, he just listened to what Dean told him. Sometimes he would squint, not understanding something. He would never admit it, but Dean thought it was kinda cute. When he had told Castiel he would like to be his friend, he thought it was a bad decision, but now, he couldn't be happier with Castiel.

On Friday, he dared to ask Castiel to come over next Saturday. It would be safe since John wouldn't even be there for dinner on Saturdays.

Castiel looked happy at the request, and told him he would be there. He couldn't wait to meet Sam, Dean talked about him all the time, about how proud he was, how well Sam did in school and how he was sure Sam was gonna make it. Something Dean never talked about was his own future, and Castiel didn't ask about it, he had learned to let people tell them what they wanted and if they wouldn't want to tell something, it was none of his business so he wasn't gonna ask for it.

Saturday morning, Dean woke up to an empty bed. He stumbled downstairs and saw Sam was already up. "mornin' Sammy." Sam greeted him back, not looking up from the book he was reading. It was Harry Potter, the first book.

Dean remembered the happiness in the eyes of his little brother when he gave it to him. Sam had looked at it, asked if it was really for him and when Dean had nodded, he hugged Dean so tight, he thought Sam was never gonna let go. The memory made him smile as he went to made breakfast.

When he was done working that evening, they had a few minutes to get home before Castiel would be there. Once they pulled over by the house, Castiel just came walking towards it. He smiled when he saw the Impala park.

The door opened, and a younger boy stepped out, holding a familiar book. When Castiel walked closer, he recognized the first book of the Harry Potter series. Dean also stepped out now, and smiled at Castiel before opening the front door. Castiel walked inside, not knowing what to expect. He saw Dean smiling at Sam, who immediately returned to his book once he was inside.

"You can take a seat, I'm making dinner anyways," he gestured towards the kitchen table as he saw Castiel standing awkward in the kitchen. He pulled out some greens and started cleaning them. While Dean made dinner, he and Castiel talked.

"He's quite enjoying his book, I see," Castiel mentioned, looking at Sam.

"Yea," Dean agreed. "I gave it to him, bought it from the extra I got at the garage." Dean had mentioned Bobby's garage earlier, and Castiel knew Dean had a thing for cars.

When dinner was done, Dean called for Sam and they all got to the table. They chatted and Castiel complimented Dean on the food. Sam smiled happy and told Castiel Dean could make the best food in the world.

Castiel felt his heart warm at this, and knew this brotherly bond wouldn't break any time soon. The way they acted around each other, how Dean cared for Sam, how proud he was, and how they talked, it was as if Dean was his father.

Castiel found out he couldn't be more right. After dinner, Dean did the dishes and Sam read till he was done with his book, sighing happy, a sigh Castiel knew he had it himself too. It was the sigh of being happy because the book was really good, but also sad because it was over. Dean excused himself as he brought Sammy to bed, leaving Castiel alone in the kitchen.

"G'night Sammy, sleep well." Sam smiled happily.

"I like Castiel. Is he coming over more often?" he asked.

"Maybe, we'll see," Dean answered, smiling back. "I'll wake you tomorrow okay?" Sam mumbled a goodnight and Dean closed the door.

Meanwhile, Castiel had a few minutes to think. Where was their dad? And their mom? Why was Dean acting like he was Sam's father? Why did it look like it had always been this way?

He was still deep in thought when Dean came back, and couldn't help but ask it. It was silent for a moment, and Castiel was about to apologize for asking when Dean explained it to him. It all became clear, John being away all the time, leaving it to Dean to look out for Sammy. He didn't talk about their mom, and Castiel didn't ask.

Dean had also told him about how they left every time, the reason why he hadn't had any friends for over 4 years. Castiel felt honored by being Dean's friend by Dean's choice. He couldn't help but think about what Charlie had said. She was right, he was cute, but he didn't like guys. He never had a girlfriend, but he's never really had a thing for guys.

It was late when Castiel left. Dean said he would give him a ride home, if Sam hadn't been asleep. Castiel said it didn't matter; he liked walking in the dark. With a smile, they said their goodbyes and Castiel walked home. Dean closed the door and got Sam's book, putting it away before John would find it.

2 hours later, Dean sat at the kitchen table, waiting for John, and Castiel lay in bed, just done with his book, about to fall asleep. Both of them, thinking about the other, happy to be each other's friend.

 


	6. Chapter 6

The next weeks, everything was going fine, more than ever actually. Castiel has been coming over more, and Sam had been going to the houses of his friends, and was really excited to be invited for a party of one of his friend's birthdays. Dean smiled at Sam's excitement, happy Sam could live the life he deserved right now. Even John was doing fine, for his being. Sure, he kept coming home late and drunk but he didn't make such a mess as he used to.

Dean kept a rhythm in his life of going to school every day and working in the weekends. On Saturday, Castiel comes by and goes home before John comes back. Sometimes, they hang out on school days, Castiel helping Sam with his homework or talking about books they read while Dean makes dinner.

Sam is as happy as ever when Castiel comes by, greeting Dean and walking straight towards Sam. He knows how much the boy loves reading, but he also knows Dean can't afford to buy many books. Since Dean doesn't skip school and only works in the weekends, and sometimes after school, they needed all the money he gets.

Sam looked up; saying hey to Castiel, wondering what Castiel is caring with him. Castiel dropped the plastic bag in Sam's lap. "That's for you," he said, smiling.

"Oh my..." Sam fell silent as he opened the bag, not knowing what to say. "Dean!" he yelled. "Dean, look what I got!"

Dean, having his instincts, runs out of the kitchen as soon as he hears Sam yelling. He finds an overly happy Sam and a smiling Castiel.

"Dean, I have the full Harry Potter series, look!" Castiel explained to Sam how he saw him reading it, and since he has read the whole series twice already, he decided to give them to Sam.

Dean's heart melted immediately. "Thanks so much," Sam said to Castiel before opening the second book of the series. Dean lets him read, he'll do Sam's homework later.

"Thanks," he said to Castiel when they return to the kitchen.

"No problem, I found out he has only read the first book and I hate it when I can only read one book of a series so I thought I'd give him all the books." Dean can't help but keep smiling as he makes dinner. Once again, he is happy he befriended Castiel.

During dinner they chat, Sam happier than usual, this also makes Dean a lot happier. Castiel notices how Dean's mood is based on Sam's. When Sam doesn't feel good, Dean doesn't pay attention in class, leaving right after school to pick up Sam, taking care of him. When Sam is angry, Dean looks sad the whole day. When Sam is happy, Dean can enjoy things without having to worry about Sam.

Suddenly Sam dropped the bomb. "You know, mom would've really liked you, Castiel," he said.

A dead silence fell and Dean's smile is gone. Castiel didn't know what to say, he assumed their mom was either gone, or dead. They never talk about her. Not that they talk about their dad much, but he hasn't even heard the word 'mom' in any of their conversations. "I'm sorry," Sam almost whispers. Its silent for another minute, and suddenly Dean started talking.

"Our mom, she is...." He couldn't finish it, but Castiel knew what he meant. "a house fire, I was 9, Sammy 5 years old." Dean explains. He doesn't know what else to say, but Castiel gives him a small smile, letting him know he doesn't have to say anything. He nods, and they finish dinner.

After reading a few chapters in his books, Sam goes to bed and before Dean closes the door, he tells Sam one more thing: "You're right, Sammy, she would."

Returning back to the kitchen, Dean gets Sam's bag and takes the homework out. As he and Castiel talked some more, he did Sam's homework. When Castiel had to go home, Dean thanked him once again for the books. "I think you made his whole week."

Castiel smiled. "And by making Sam's week, I also made yours," he says. Dean nodded, he knew Castiel had figured out his mood depended on Sam's.

"See you Monday," he says, and Castiel tells him bye and starts walking.

Dean sighed, Sam had more homework to do than he expected. He is still working when John comes home. He's pretty drunk and takes the papers out of Dean's hand.

"What's this? Homework? Since when do you do anything for school?" Dean tried to grab the papers.

  
"Dad, can I get it back, I need to finish this," he said, but John didn't listen. He turned around so Dean can't get it, and with that action he spills the beer he has in his hand on the papers. "Ah shit, can't read it anyways, too tired," and with that, John walks off to his room.

Dean looks at the papers, dripping beer off it. He will get some new and do it again, anything to prevent anyone from finding out about Johns drinking behavior. He wipes the beer off the floor and starts working on Sam's homework again. It's 3am when he finally goes to sleep, tired, but finished.

The week goes by quickly, Dean getting constant remarks on not doing his homework but he doesn't care.

On Wednesday, he sat in History class when he got a text. He pulled out his phone and read the text, not caring about Miss Talbot, telling him he would have to hand in his phone.

"You don't have books, you don't do your assignments, you don't even have a damn bag! Now hand in your phone or you'll get detention!" she said, but he ignored her completely.

_Sam: my friend is sick at home; can you come pick me up?_

Sam would stay at a friend's house on Wednesdays, so Dean could just go to his History instead of skipping it each time to pick up Sam. He stood up, and walked to the front, right past Miss Talbot, leaving her shocked with her hand out. She recovered quickly.

"What do you think you're gonna do, young boy?" she asked, already pissed off by the fact that he just ignored her and thought he would get away with it.

"Gotta pick up my little brother, goodbye Miss, see you next class!" Dean replied, and left the classroom. As he walked away, he heard his classmates laugh, and Miss Talbot trying to shut everyone up. He grinned, he liked messing with teachers. They would leave anyways so why would he even try to be nice when this was way more fun?

That Saturday, Castiel came by, as usual. They just had finished dinner, and Dean was doing the dishes when the front door opened. He turned around immediately, checking who came inside, a knife behind his back. Whoever came to hurt Sammy had to deal with him first. But it was someone he hadn't expected to be home at this time

"Who the hell is that?" John asked as soon as he saw Castiel, who quickly stood up. He hadn't met John Winchester before, but Dean had told some things about him and by Dean and Sam's reaction, this was John.

"I'm Castiel Novak, sir," he stumbled before Dean took it over.

"He is here for a school project, dad," he said, hoping his dad wouldn't be mad.

"And why is he here?" John grumbled.

"Well, our teacher said we had to do it at home, and I can't leave Sammy behind."

John looked at Castiel, and Castiel didn't know what to do. The way John looked at him... it was as if his eyes said 'you don't belong here, so get the fuck away and never let me see you again'.

After what felt like minutes, John looked away and stumbled to his room.

"I guess I'll just..." Castiel gestured towards the door. Dean nodded and walked with him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I never meant to let dad scare you, he's never home early on Saturdays." But Castiel sushed him and told him it was okay.

As Castiel walked home, he thought about how Sam and Dean reacted when their dad was home. Sam hadn't said anything; he kept working on his homework, not even looking at his dad. Dean hadn't let go of the knife when he saw it was his dad coming inside, probably having the thought of protecting Sam in his head.

But the way he talked to his dad was something Castiel has never heard of him before. It was as if he was willing to do anything John would ask, or most likely, commend.

Not to mention the fact that John was drunk. Drunk as in really, really drunk. He didn't know if he wanted to know what happened when John was drunk. He had seen drunken people, and some could get really... violent.

Castiel sighed and didn't know what to do. He decided to wait until Dean started talking about it, and if he didn't, he wouldn't know. He knew this was not his business.

When he arrived home, he greeted his mom. "You look dreamy, you have your eye on someone?" she asked. "You really look happier since a few weeks ago."

She knew Castiel did not have many friends, and had been a bit upset when Castiel told her Charlie was gay. As a mother, she wished the best for her son, so when he told her no, she smiled sadly. "There will be someone for you, dear. Good night."

Castiel thought about what she had said.  _There will be someone for you._ But not Dean, right? He didn't swing that way. Yes, Dean was really good looking. And he was his best friend besides Charlie. And when Charlie had dropped some hints (which he had cursed her for later), he had seen Dean blush a little. He liked the blush, it looked cute. Also, Dean seemed to be really comfortable around him, he didn't laugh at him for his obsession with books, and even Sam had told Castiel once he was a really good friend to Dean.

The more he thought about it, the less sure he was. Did he like Dean in that way?

 


	7. Chapter 7

Since Castiel was afraid to meet John Winchester again, he often came by at Bobby's garage, where he just sat down, looked how Dean fixed cars, and talked about everything. Dean didn't mind it, he liked hearing Castiel talk. Bobby didn't mind having Castiel around either, Dean was happier when Castiel was around. Bobby had practically become a second father to the boys, helping Sam with his homework and teaching Dean some more about cars.

Both Sam and Dean were happy with Bobby. He was nice and caring like any other dad would be. Bobby had once invited them for dinner on Saturday, and that was one of the best dinners they've ever had. Bobby, Castiel, Dean and Sam sat at the table, eating the food Bobby had made with some help of Dean, chatting and having a good time. Bobby knew about their mom and dad, so he avoided those subjects.

During the time Dean worked, Castiel and Bobby talked a lot. Even though Bobby couldn't just tell Castiel why Dean acted the way he did, Castiel came to know a lot more than he would ever think. He trusted Bobby enough to talk to him about what his mother had said.

_There will be someone for you._

He didn't know what to do. Of course, he did like Dean, but did he really want to ruin their friendship by telling him his feelings? He was honored when Dean had said he never made any friends, but still befriended Castiel.

Bobby told him to just go for it, and if it went wrong, he would go talk to Dean. Castiel nodded, thanked him, and their conversation went on till Dean and Sam had to go home.

It was Saturday, a week later and Dean was working in the garage. Castiel wasn't there yet, but Dean didn't worry. It was 9am and Castiel didn't wake up before 10am, so most of the times, he would come by around 2pm.

Today was a good day, Dean felt it. He had a few cars to fix, and maybe, he could do something about the Impala, to make her better than she already was. He worked through the morning and at 1pm, he and Bobby had lunch. They talked a bit about what they were gonna do the rest of the day. None of them had any plans, so they decided to just take it easy and went on working.

It was 2.30pm when Castiel came in, greeting Bobby before walking over to Dean. "Hey Dean, do you have any plans for today?" he asked, a bit nervous.

Dean looked at him; he didn't see any reason to be nervous. He looked at Bobby, who gave Castiel a meaningful look. Castiel nodded slightly and Bobby smiled.

"Go with him, Dean, you deserve a break after all these weeks," he said. There was something going on here, but Dean didn't know what. He told Castiel he was gonna clean up a bit, and went inside the house.

"You're gonna tell him today, huh?" Bobby asked as soon as Castiel and he were alone. Castiel nodded, still nervous.

"I really don't want to, what if I ruin the whole friendship? What if he never wants to talk to me again? What if-"

But Bobby interrupted him. "There is nothing to be afraid of, boy. It will be alright, just tell him what you feel, and what he's gonna do with it, that's his choice.

"Hey, you ready?" Dean came walking towards them, he had cleaned his face and hands, but there still was a small black stripe on his forehead he hadn't cleaned. Castiel decided to ignore it, but Bobby muttered something and wiped Dean's forehead.

"That's better, now go, and I'll see you around today, I guess?" Dean nodded, and looked at Castiel.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Just drive, I'll tell you where to go," Castiel answered.

As they sat in the car, Dean put on some music as usual and AC/DC came through the speakers.

_Livin' easy_

_Lovin' free_

_Season ticket on a one way ride_

_Askin' nothing_

_Leave me be_

_Takin' everythin' in my stride_

Dean sang along with the music, and Castiel smiled at how comfortable Dean was around him. He kept telling Dean where to go, and soon they pulled up by a lake.

"Here it is," Castiel informed and Dean pulled over, looking around. "I used to go to this place every summer, me and my family. We'd go camping and do nothing but swimming, fishing and relaxing all week." he explained.

Dean had picked up the right words. "Used to?" he asked. Castiel looked surprised, Dean wasn't usually the one to ask questions, he just accepted everything.

"Yea, my parents got divorced 5 years ago; this is the place I go to when I want to be alone." It was silent for a while as they walked to the lake. They sat down on the grass, it was too cold to swim but the sun shone, so it wasn't too bad after all.

"So..." Dean said. "Was there any reason you brought me here, or are we just gonna sit here? Because I'm fine with both."

Castiel thought about it. "I just wanted to give you some time off. I do have something to say, yes, but I'll tell you when I'm ready. For now, I just want to enjoy this." Dean hummed and closed his eyes, embracing the sun. He liked this place.

"Do you need a lot of time alone? You said you didn't get bullied but is someone bothering you? Tell me, I will make sure they don't do it again." Dean didn't hear a reply, so he opened his eyes and saw Castiel smiling.

"Thanks, but no. no one's really bothering me. I just like it here, it's calm and the view's good." Dean must admit it, the view was amazing.

They sat together in silence for another few minutes, Dean with closed eyes and Castiel was just looking over the water. It was so silent; he almost jumped when Dean suddenly began to talk.

"Thanks," Dean started, as if he didn't know how to continue. "Thanks for not befriending me once I got there, I just... I never make any friends any more, we always move and I'm so sick of saying good bye every time y'know.

So a few years ago I figured out that if I just didn't befriend anyone; I wouldn't have to say goodbye. It hurts, Cas. It hurts because Sammy keeps making friends. I know goodbyes are hard, but he needs friends, I can't be his father, his brother  _and_ his friend at the same time, I just can't."

He sighed sadly before going on. "I don't know how to do this, I'm no good with feelings, and those stupid chick-flick moments, but you've been a really good friend to me, Cas. I will never regret befriending you, I just... I want to thank you for sticking with me. It's hard to raise Sammy and keep earning money but I just wanna earn it and put it away for later. Sammy's gonna need it, he's a smart kid. He wants to study to become a lawyer and I don't want to ruin his dreams.

I have no future, I will always look after Sammy, but I need the money, I don't even know why I'm going to school every day. I guess I just need a friend once in a time, and I'm glad it's you." He finishes, and looks at Castiel, who is now deep in his thoughts, and looking at the water.

The sun shines in his face and makes his eyes reflect like the brightest blue they ever have been.

Castiel thought about what Dean just told him. It was really personal, and he's glad Dean shared it with him. But why? Why did Dean befriend  _him?_ He is someone with no other friends besides Charlie, and constantly keeps going after Dean. Hell, he even shows up at his work. He doesn't mind though, but he is still struggling with his feelings for Dean.

As he looked at Dean, sun shining on him and brightening his whole face, green eyes looking at his own, he feels his stomach tingle. As much as he doesn't want to take the risk of losing their friendship, he couldn't keep it up much longer.

"Thanks, Dean," he said as he turned to face Dean. Dean had sat up straight and locked eyes with him. "I'm really glad you felt comfortable enough to share this with me."

He decided this was the moment, and leaned forward to look Dean once more right in the eyes before closing his eyes and pressing his lips to Dean's.

 


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as Castiel kissed Dean, he regretted his action. How could he risk their friendship like this? How could he even think Dean would like him? How could he even think Dean liked guys? He hadn't shown any attention to both girls and guys. He started to pull back, when he suddenly felt a movement. It was Dean, kissing him back.

For a moment, Castiel didn't know what was happening, maybe he was dreaming, but his mind shut off and he just kept kissing. It was his first kiss, and he'd always been wondering how it would be to kiss someone, but he never expected this.

Dean's lips were soft, and so were his movements, it was nothing like you'd imagine. When you saw Dean, you'd expect him to be kinda rude, and fast, not this sweet, hands cupping his cheeks, soft but still passionate kiss.

When Dean pulled back, Castiel still didn't dare to open his eyes. He felt Dean's arm around him, and fell in a comfortable space between Dean's arm and chest. "Thank you," he heard Dean whisper. Castiel doesn't reply. He just sits there enjoying the moment, and so does Dean.

They sat there in silence for a few more minutes before Dean started talking again. "That was the best kiss I've ever had." Castiel felt Deans voice coming through his chest, he liked it.

"Thanks, I guess?" he replied. Dean chuckled a bit, before asking

"You've ever kissed anyone before?"

Castiel shook his head shamefully. "I have no other friends than you and Charlie, never had anyone else. Who would I have kissed?"

Dean shrugged. "I don't know, someone random at a party? Why are you laughing?"

"You look at me and tell me if I'm someone who would first even go to a party, and secondly,  _kiss_  someone?" Castiel said, still laughing a bit.

"Sorry," Dean mumbled. "I didn't realize it."

Castiel assured him it was okay and asked him if he had any girlfriends. Dean sighed. "I had... it didn't end very well." His voice sounded sad. "What happened, if I may ask?"

"Well my first girlfriend is the one who lasted for the longest time... a month," Dean started.

"She was nice, I was fourteen, and she was almost 15. We had a good time, till one day we were just watching a movie and Sam texted me, telling dad was home, and angry. I told her I had to go, but I couldn't explain why, she didn't know anything about what was going on at home.

She said it was okay, but it was the third time I had to leave without an explanation. A few days later she asked one, and told me she couldn't accept it any more. I just said 'okay' and walked out of the door, and a few days later we were leaving.

The next one was when I was fifteen, so was she. It lasted for like a week, she constantly wanted to go to the movies and other expensive shit, but I didn't have any money, I still had to take care of Sammy. It was bad enough I left him by himself so I could go out, but when she got mad and told me I had to pay too, I told her she was the one who wanted to go out every time. She told me to fuck myself and I told her I'd do that and walked away.

The third one was also the last one; we were together for like 2 weeks. I had to bring Sammy with me sometimes, and she really didn't like that. I decided Sam was more important than anyone, told her that and she told me it was either him or her... Well, my decision was made quickly. That was also the time I stopped making friends, knowing we would move again anyways."

Castiel let it sink in, he felt really special. "I don't think I would want anybody else to have my first kiss with," he said softly, knowing Dean doesn't do chick-flick moments, but Dean just smiled.

"I'm honored," he replied.

Castiel had one more question. "If you have had 3 girlfriends before... then why did you kiss me back? I'm a guy."

"I don't know, it just felt right. As I said before, it was the best kiss I've ever had, and besides, I think I may like you, always have. There's a reason why you're the first one I became friends with in a few years," Dean explained and Castiel nodded.

He was still surprised someone like Dean could even like someone like Castiel, let alone kissing him. As he thought about it, he decided to just let it go. He was happy with Dean, and as long as Dean felt the same, it was all okay.

They sat at the lake for another while before getting back to Bobby. When they arrive, Bobby noticed the small smiles on their faces. He looked at Castiel, and once Castiel nodded, Bobby smiled too, before going back to the car he was fixing. Dean and Castiel talk about the usual things while Dean works till it's time to go home.

The next 2 weeks, it all felt a lot better for the both of them. They kept their relationship secret, even for Sam. Charlie did know it though, and not because they told her. The three of them just sat together during lunch when she commented on how cute they were together.

"We... What?" Castiel said, confused.

"Yea, you are together, right? Because it sure would be awkward if you weren't."

Castiel blushed and looked at Dean, who nodded. "I guess you figured it out already, so why would we deny it?" he asked.

Charlie laughed. "I knew it, my gaydar is always right."

"Did you just..." Dean turned to Castiel. "Did she really just say that?" Castiel laughed, realizing Dean still didn't know some things about Charlie.

"You'll get used to the way she says things, trust me," he said, still laughing. Dean just nodded and wondered for how long she had known.

As the days passed by, Castiel and Dean became closer, and Castiel started to come by more often. Sam was really happy with it, he saw Castiel as a friend of himself too.

Castiel brought Sam more books, and loved to see the young boy's expression every time. It wasn't like anything he'd ever seen, Sam's face would light up as if he just won the lottery, while he just got a book. Even when Castiel came with a book that was held together with tape, he had read it so many times, Sam's face didn't show disappointment.

Dean loved how Sam and Castiel acted with each other, how Castiel would bring books, and help Sam with his homework. Now, Dean didn't have to do it at night, when Sam was asleep, he even got most his own homework done.

Castiel also never complained about how Dean always had to do something when they were together, whether it was working, making dinner, doing the dishes, or scrub the floor; he just enjoyed Deans company and talked to him while Dean did his chores.

It was Sunday, and Dean didn't have work. Sam went to a friend, and Castiel would come by. He picked up Castiel after bringing Sam to his friend, and they went back to Dean's house. He had done cleaning the house already, so he had some free time.

They decided to watch a movie, one of the few Dean actually had. He never got anything since he didn't have any friends, but Bobby had given him a movie for his good work at the garage. The movie was called "Iron Man" and both Castiel and Dean had never heard of it.

They started the movie and sat on the couch, next to each other, but as the movie went on, they snuggled up together more and more. When Dean put the movie on pause, Castiel squinted his eyes and asked what was wrong.

"Don't look so confused," Dean said. "Can't I just do this without having to explain it?" he said as he pressed his lips to Castiel's.

Castiel immediately kissed back, it felt so good. They hadn't kissed much yet, mostly because they were either at school or in the garage most of the time, and when they weren't, Sam was around or they didn't have time. Castiel didn't mind though, it made the times that they kiss even more special.

Dean pulled back and smiled softly. "I'm really happy with you, Cas," he said. Castiel felt the butterflies in his belly as he heard Dean's nickname for him. He sighed, how could  _he_  end up with someone like Dean?

"You make me really happy too, Dean." he cuddled closer and Dean put his arm around Castiel's waist. They started playing the movie again when suddenly they heard the door.

Dean flew up from the couch, and soon, Castiel stood beside him.

"What the hell is happening here?" a grumbled voice said.

"He came by for a project for school, dad, and we were finished so we started a movie," Dean explained.

John looked at Castiel. "I know you... you were here before, weren't you?"

"Y-yes, sir," Castiel replied.

"He's a friend of mine, dad," Dean explained. "Sammy's at a friend's house, and I've already done my chores."

John kept looking at Castiel before turning to Dean. "A friend? You have no friends." Castiel flinched by the tone of John's voice.

"I do have one friend, dad." John still didn't seem to be happy with that answer.

"Well, good for you. As long as you're not some fag it's good. But do your school work somewhere else, I don't want others in my house." And with that, he walked to his room.

Castiel and Dean looked at each other, before Dean mouthed "I'm sorry" and put off the TV. They went to the Impala and he brought Castiel home. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"It's okay," Castiel said. "It was a huge risk anyways, and nothing bad happened. Now go pick up Sam, I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed Dean's cheek and went inside.

Dean went to get Sam and as they drove home, he thought about how he had put Castiel in such danger. This couldn't be happening again, no matter how badly he wanted to.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked. He always knew when Dean didn't feel good.

"No, it's all okay, but dad just came home, so be quit okay? I'll help you with your homework," Dean replied. Sam nodded and went silent again.

That night, Dean went to bed early. John had not come outside of his room for dinner, so he left a note on the table, telling John there was food in the refrigerator.

Right before he fell asleep, he decided Castiel could not come by any more. From now on, Dean would just go to school, Bobby's garage, do his chores and do anything he could to not piss off his dad. And with that thought, he went to sleep.

 


	9. Chapter 9

After John came home that Sunday, Dean didn't do anything but take care of Sammy, go to school, and go to work. He saw Castiel at school, and sometimes he'd come by at the garage, but that was it. Dean was happy Castiel accepted it; he didn't want to lose him.

But it was hard. He had to wake up early every day to make breakfast for Sammy, bring him to school, he had to survive his own day at school, pick up Sammy and head straight to the garage.

There, he worked the rest of the time before heading home to make dinner. After dinner he had to do the dishes, sometimes clean the house, he had to wash all the clothes, and basically did everything parents would do.

If that was everything, he'd be okay, but he had also homework to do, his own and Sammy's, whenever Sammy was too tired. He had to take care of his little brother, and couldn't care less about his own life.

At night he waited, at the kitchen table. He waited for John to come home, so he could go to sleep himself. This wasn't the life a normal 17 year old should have, but Dean knew he couldn't do anything about it.

He had to wait, wait till he was 18 so he could take Sam with him and go away, away from his dad, away from all the trouble.

One night, Dean felt sick. He had slept too less the past few days, and tripped over nothing at least twice a day. But he had to go on; he had to do this for Sam. Sam didn't deserve this, and that's what kept Dean moving. He was sitting at the kitchen table when John came home, 2.30am. Dean expected him to just go to bed, like always. But this time it was different.

"Why am I getting called by  _your_  school if there's something wrong?" Dean's eyes grew wide.  _Oh shit._

"I don't know, I've been a bit tired past days," he replied. But that wasn't enough for John.

He walked over to Dean and before Dean realized it, he was thrown off his chair. "If I hear  _anything_  else from that school, we're leaving, you hear me? I'm getting a new phone. And if you  _dare_  to make them call me again..." he didn't finish his sentence, but instead, his hand flew to Dean's head.

Dean tried to get away, but he was too weak. He felt his father's knuckles hit his eye, but didn't dare to even whimper. " _Do you understand me?"_  he heard his dad ask.

"Yes, dad, I'm sorry. It won't be happening again." John's hand hit the side of Dean's head one more time before he went to his room.

"Good," he mumbled before closing the door.

Dean lied on the floor for a minute before he sat up, and cleaned the floor. He hadn't realized his nose was bleeding until now. As he waited till the bleeding stopped, he thought about what just happened. He had almost forgotten how his dad could be when drunk,  _almost._  He sighed. This was why he stood up at night. He had to take this or else John would hurt Sammy.

The next morning, Sam had asked what happened, his face in shock. Dean hadn't even looked in a mirror the night before, so when he finally did, he understood Sam's expression. His whole eye was blue, together with a part of his nose. On the side of his head there was also a big bruise. "Nothing bad, I tripped and fell on the kitchen table," he said, not wanting to have Sam worried.

Castiel sat in class, wondering where Dean was. Yes, he was late at times, but not this late. During lunch, Charlie also asked where Dean was. Castiel admitted he didn't know, but also didn't worry. Dean had looked pretty tired past days; maybe he was just sick at home. He didn't think about it as the day went on.

The next day, however, he was worried. Dean had come to school, his eye and nose green and bruised another bruise on the side of his head.

"What happened??" Castiel asked as soon as he saw Dean.

"Calm down, I just tripped and fell into the kitchen table. It's nothing bad," Dean replied. There they were again, the lies he had to tell the people he cared for. Just to protect them.

Castiel believed Dean; he has had some pretty nasty accidents too. They went to class, and Dean got scoffed because he hadn't made any homework, as usual.

"I have been sick at home yesterday, how could you expect me to do any homework?" Dean started, but Miss Talbot has created a special kind of hate for him since he had come to her classes, so he had bad luck.

"Winchester, I cannot tolerate that tone, and you didn't do your homework,  _again,_  and besides, you  _still_  don't have any books or even a bag. Go to the principal, I'm done with you today," she snapped.

Dean rolled his eyes and stood up. "Later, Cas, I'm gonna go to Bobby's, at least he  _appreciates my presence."_  That last line was directed to Miss Talbot, who looked even angrier. Before Castiel could even say anything, Dean walked out of the classroom.

_Who does that bitch think she is? She should be happy I'm even attending that damn class._

Dean was pissed. He went straight outside, not bothering to go to the principal. When he arrived at Bobby's, he told Bobby the same story of the kitchen table, but Bobby didn't believe him. Bobby's had a childhood too, and it hadn't been all rainbows and flowers.

"You know you can always come here when something's wrong, boy," he just said. If there was something going on, Dean would tell Bobby himself. Dean just nodded and went to work.

When it was time, he picked up Sam from school and went back to the garage, where Bobby gave him some extra money to buy food. Dean was about to thank Bobby but Bobby interrupted him.

"You remember what I said, boy? Don't thank me every time. You worked hard today, now get some food."

Bobby knew Dean would be standing at his door soon, but he hadn't it expected to be this soon. It was 2am when he heard his doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door, and was surprised to find Dean there, still in his clothes, nose bleeding, and a bad bruise he hadn't seen earlier that day.

"Bobby, can I... can I drop Sammy here? He needs a place to stay; it's not safe at home." Dean pointed to the car, where Sam sat, in his pajamas and jacket, shivering from the cold.

"Of course he can," Bobby replied, and Dean ran to the car. He said something to Sam, and together they walked back to Bobby. "Come in, boy, you're getting a cold this way," he told Sam. Dean didn't make an attempt to come in.

"You aren't coming?" Bobby asked.

"No, I need to go back before John hurts himself, or makes more damage. Thanks so much for letting Sammy stay," Dean replied, and walked back to the car. "I'll pick you up tomorrow, Sammy, don't worry, everything's fine," he shouted.

Bobby shook his head. "That damn boy, always making sure no one gets hurt. 'Bout time he starts worrying about himself," he mumbled before closing the door. He led Sam to his room, and told him Dean would be fine and that he was welcome to stay as long as he wanted. Sam thanked him, and fell asleep right away. Bobby looked at the sleeping boy once more.

_You don't deserve this, but neither does Dean._

The next morning, Dean drove to Bobby's. Bobby had been expecting him and Sam had already eaten, ready to go to school. Dean said he was okay, but that was not how he looked.

This time, his eye was swollen and bruised again, he limped a bit, and breathing seemed hard for him. As soon as he saw Sam coming, he acted like he was okay, and brought him to school.

Back at Bobby's, he wanted to work, but Bobby told him to get some sleep first. "I have no idea how you feel, but you don't look well," he said as he led Dean upstairs.

"Can I sleep in the room Sammy slept? We always sleep in the same room and I wouldn't feel comfortable in another room... I'm sorry," Dean told him. Bobby assured him it was okay, and soon Dean was fast asleep.

Meanwhile, Castiel sat in class, worried about Dean. Dean had been getting more bruises the past days, and even if he kept saying he got them from work, Castiel knew it wasn't true. He had seen Dean working and Dean barely got hurt. He sighed as the teacher rambled on about some totally uninteresting topic.

When Dean came to school a few days later, he had other bruises. He told Castiel he had walked into a door, but Castiel didn't believe him anymore.

"What's going on, Dean?" he asked, looking right into Dean's eyes. He got a little bit distracted by how beautiful they were, but quickly recovered himself. He wanted to know what was happening. Dean looks back and Castiel knew Dean was debating whether to tell him or not.

At least, Dean chose to tell Castiel. "Not here," he whispered, not risking another trip to the principal. "Somewhere more private, you can come to Bobby's today?" They agreed on meeting in the garage, and they didn't talk about it during the day.

It got Castiel thinking though, was it John? It could be, and it would also explain Dean's behavior when John came home. Castiel sighed, only 4 more hours before he would finally know what was really happening in Dean's life.

 


	10. Chapter 10

It was 4.30pm when Castiel arrived at the garage. He walked inside and greeted Bobby before going to Dean. He just stood there, watching Dean concentrating on the car he was fixing.

After a few minutes, Dean looked up because he needed something and noticed Castiel standing. "Hey there, have you been waiting for a long time?" he asked, smiling.

"Nah," Castiel replied. "But I wouldn't mind, you know I like to see you work."

"But that's not what came here for today," Dean stated. He sighed. "I have a few more things to do so if you don't mind to get a chair and we can talk while I work."

Castiel agreed, and got inside to get a chair. He greeted Sam, who was happy to see him.

"I missed you, Castiel," he said. Castiel smiled.

"I'm sorry, Sam, I can't come by as much as I used to. I miss you too." Sam smiled and said it was okay, and went on doing his homework.

"So..." Dean started. "What would you wanna know?"

Castiel thought about it. He just wanted to know what was going on between him and his dad, why he had to take care of Sam, why he had those bruises... But he was afraid to ask. Maybe Dean didn't even want to talk about it. Maybe he would be mad. Maybe he would... No, Dean wouldn't break it up. They weren't even official boyfriends since none of them had ever asked it, but they did everything a couple did.

"I want to know what's going on in your life," Castiel decided. "And if you don't wanna talk about it, that's okay, just tell me what you want to. I just don't believe you keep walking into doors, keep falling on tables, and all the times I've seen you work here, you have never hurt yourself that badly, what is happening?"

Dean sighed once more, and started talking. He kept working to not show the pain on his face, but Castiel still saw it. It hurt him.

"My dad... Is the reason we move on to another town every time. I have been with you for a while now, and I almost forgot we are not gonna stay here forever, although I want to. I will have to say goodbye to you soon, and move on.

He works, yes, but spends the money on drinks. He goes to the bar every fucking day, and comes home drunk. I stay up to make sure he goes to bed safely, and to protect Sammy if anything happens. He has been behaving well past weeks, until like a week ago. He came home, and got mad at me. He..." Dean struggled, and Castiel knew what would come.

"He hits me; he hurts me, and blames me for everything. But I can't do anything against him. If I'm not there, he will hurt Sammy and I can't let that happen. Sammy doesn't deserve this life. I can't go to the police or anything, because they will take me and Sammy away from him. We will be placed in some house for kids like us, but I can't let that happen either. Sam has to have a home, he needs someone he can trust, and I'm the only person who can do that.

It goes okay, as long as John is in a good mood. But he's been worse and worse past days. He comes home at 3am; he throws his anger on me, blames me, and then goes to bed. I have to clean up his mess before I can go to bed. I don't sleep much, but I have to do it this way." Dean paused.

"Once I have the right age and enough money, I will get away. I will get Sammy and the Impala, and go away, away from my dad, away from anyone who dares to go after us. But I have to wait. So for now, this is the only thing I can do.

It was silent for a few minutes, and Castiel thought about what Dean had told him. How could John do this to his kids? How could he? Dean had warned him.

_There is no use in getting to know me because I will probably be leaving in a few weeks again;_ Dean had said when he introduced himself. But he and Castiel had become friends, and even more than friends. Why did Dean do that when he knew he would be leaving again? Did he want to... hurt Castiel?

"Dean... Why did you do this," Castiel gestured between him and Dean "when you knew you would be leaving again?"

Dean froze. He waited a moment before looking at Castiel, right into the blue eyes. "Because," he said, "because once you said you didn't expect me to befriend you, I felt a sadness. Not because of the denial, but for you. No pity though, I don't to pity. But I know once someone tells people they don't expect them to be friend, they have gone through... things.

And I know it, because I did it too. I don't befriend anyone because I don't want to say goodbye any more. I don't want to hurt people by letting them to get to know me, and saying goodbye a few weeks later.

And I don't know what your reason was, but you were a good guy, Cas. You just did what you had to do, showing me around, and let me do what I wanted to do. And for the first time in 2 years, I wanted to know you. Really  _know_. And that's why I befriended you."

As the days went by, Dean appeared at school less and less. He worked at the garage for almost 5 days a week, and the only time he and Castiel saw each other is when Castiel came by at the garage, but it wasn't as much as they wanted. The times Dean was at school, he always got asked why he didn't go to school every day and why his dad never answered the phone. At one point, Dean got so sick of the questions; he didn't go to school at all and got a fulltime job at the garage.

Sam was at Bobby's most of the time too, but not because Dean had to work. It was safe for Sam, this way he wouldn't get hurt by John. John always had cared more for Sam, but once he was drunk, he didn't know what he did. Every day, Dean went home after work, made dinner, and once their dad went out again, Dean brought Sam to Bobby. Sam had a room for his own now, and Bobby was more of a father to him than John ever had been.

Meanwhile Dean got beaten up almost every night by his dad. He knew this couldn't go on for long, but he didn't show anything. He didn't want Sam, Castiel or Bobby worried about him. It surprised Dean that John had behaved well for so long, this was the longest time they had ever been in one town. He sighed as he thought about Bobby and Castiel. He had to say goodbye soon, and get back on the road with Sammy and John.

The moments Castiel could come by at the garage were always the best. Castiel would just sit there, doing his homework, or look at how Dean worked. They talked, about Charlie, about school, about the stupid teachers.

Dean told Castiel stories from the past, about how he and Sam had done all kinds of stupid things, just to entertain themselves when John wasn't home. The one subject they avoided was John. Dean didn't talk about him, and Castiel knew what he wanted to know, so he didn't ask any more questions.

It worried Castiel however. Every day, Dean seemed to have fresh bruises, and sometimes his face screwed up when Castiel touched him. Dean tried to hide his pain well, but both Castiel and Bobby saw it. Sometimes Dean would just sit on the roof of a car, doing nothing, staring at the air, pain in his eyes. But when he heard someone, he always jumped up and got back to work like nothing happened.

One day, Dean and Castiel talked about the future. Castiel didn't yet know what he was going to do, but Dean had it all planned out.

  
"I am gonna do the same as I have been doing for a few years. I am gonna work, I'm gonna take care of Sammy, make sure he is safe, gets to school, and gets to have the life he deserves. I use some of the money I get for food and stuff, but whatever is left, I put somewhere secret where John can't find it.

Once I have enough money, I will take Sammy; I will take the Impala and leave. I will get another job, and do the best I can to get Sammy to school. He wants to be a lawyer, and I will make sure he gets there. I will get him the money and all the stuff he needs. Sam deserves this, and my only goal in life is to make sure Sammy gets where he wants to go.

I am already hurt enough, I know I don't have a future. But that doesn't mean Sam can't have one. As long as Sam is under my protection I will make sure he doesn't get to have the life I have. He won't be able to handle this, and he shouldn't be either."

"But neither do you," Castiel said softly.

"I know." Dean sighed. "But it's too late for me, not for Sammy. The only thing I want is to protect Sammy and that's what I will do." Castiel knew Dean would do anything for his little brother.

"Hey Dean," he said. "If I get a job too, and keep the money safe... Can I..."

"Can you what? You can ask me anything, you know that." Dean saw Castiel struggle with his words.

"Can I go with you and Sam? I know we only know each other for a short time, but Dean I really care about you and together we can help Sam more, and I... I just don't want you to leave."

Dean swallowed. He knew what Castiel meant. "Of course you can. Once I have enough money to get away, you will come with us. And.... Thanks. For helping me so much. Not only with what you just said, but the way you care about me, no one has ever done that before. It really means a lot."

After that, he hugged Castiel and they exchanged a few kisses before Dean put on a Metallica CD and got back to work while Castiel did his homework. He smiled. Dean, who "didn't do chick-flick moments", had done pretty much chick-flick moments since him and Castiel were together.

And in that moment, both of them doing their own thing, and not thinking about leaving or anything, in that moment, they were happy.

 


	11. Chapter 11

The next days, Castiel did most of his homework at school and at home, so he could go to the garage more often. Dean was teaching him how to fix cars, and he was getting well at it. He had read books about it and was a quick learner. The sad thing about it was that he had less time to read, but instead of it, he could spend more time with Dean, and that was really worth it.

Bobby was also glad with Castiel, he had liked the boy before so he didn't mind it when Castiel came by, but now he got more help in the garage. Maybe, when Dean would leave, Castiel would take his job. He wasn't as good as Dean was, but he was definitely helpful. Bobby smiled as he thought about it. He cared for those boys like they were his own.

All three of them brought happiness in his life, even when Dean got fresh wounds, and even when Sam was brought for the 20th time in a row because John was home again. He helped Sam with his homework, and made lunch for Dean. He didn't have any children himself, but he knew how to act around them. He was as proud as Dean was when Sam came home with a good grade, and he was as proud as Sam was when Dean got a complement from the owner of a car he had fixed.

And even Castiel, who had it nice at home, seemed to find his place at Bobby's. All of them were friends, almost family. There were some times where Bobby had seen Dean and Castiel kiss, but instead of scoffing at them and telling them to get to work, he just smiled and gave them some privacy. Both of them deserved each other, and who knew how much time they had before Sam and Dean had to leave?

Dean had talked to Bobby, about his dad, about his past, about how much he cared for Sam, and also how much he didn't want to leave. But he had no other choice. Once John was done with this town, or when he got the police at his feet, they had to leave, and that's how his life went. Bobby had said that they were always welcome if they ever needed a place to crash.

Today was one of the days Dean had overestimated himself. He came by in the morning to pick up Sam, who practically lived at Bobby's. Once Bobby had heard the engine of the Impala, he sent Sam outside with his books and a self-made lunch. He wished him good luck for the science test Sam had, and waved at Dean who waited in the car.

When Dean came back, he got out of the car, and nearly fainted. Bobby rushed over to him "Good gods, boy, what happened to you?" he asked as he picked up Dean and put him on the couch inside.

  
"Got no sleep last night, John was... really mad." Dean explained.

"Go to sleep, I will have food for you when you're done. You can't work when you're in this condition.

As Dean woke up, the first thing he noticed was the smell of bacon and eggs. He turned around, eyes still closed when he heard a familiar voice. "Welcome back to the world of the living, Dean."

Dean smiled. "Hey, Cas, shouldn't you be at school?"

"Always concerned for other people, isn't it? I just came from school, its 4pm." Dean's eyes opened immediately.

"Sammy... I have to-"

But Bobby, who just came inside, interrupted him. "I have picked up Sam already, don't worry boy. Now, I didn't make this food to throw it away, so eat something."

As Dean ate, Castiel looked at him. "How bad is it?" he asked. Dean pulled up his shirt, and Castiel saw a big bruise on Dean's side. It looked extremely painful, and Castiel let his fingers softly touch it. He wondered how John could do this to his own son.

"I'm not as fragile as you think, it doesn't hurt that bad," Dean said, his mouth full of food.

"Oh gross! Please don't talk with your mouth full of food, I'm gonna throw up!" Castiel exclaimed which caused Dean to nearly choke on his food from laughter.

"I'm sorry," he hiccupped, his mouth still full of food. Castiel looked away and acted like he was seriously going to throw up.

"I don't see any bucket here, so I will just throw up on you, you're warned," he said and Dean quickly closed his mouth. When he was done, he stood up from the couch and looked at the clock.

"Dammit, I have to get home already. Where's Sammy?"

He said goodbye to Castiel, thanked Bobby, and headed home. Dinner was simple and when John went out, Dean brought Sam back to Bobby. Once he arrived, he decided he was feeling well enough to work for a few hours. During the drive, he thought about it. How long would this go on? How long before he had to leave Castiel and Bobby behind?

When he arrived home, John was waiting for him in the kitchen.  _Oh shit._

"Where is Sam and where were you?" John asked as soon as he saw Sam was not with Dean.

"Sam is at Bobby's and I was at work," Dean replied, hoping John would not hurt him that much.

"Who is Bobby?" Dean thought about it before picking his words.

"Bobby is my boss, and Sam is there when I have to work. He cares for Sam, Sam is safe there."

John seemed to be satisfied with that answer, and went right to bed. Dean cleaned up the empty bottles John had thrown around, and went to his own bed, happy he didn't got new bruises today. But that happiness was gone once he saw his room.

John had thrown all kinds of stuff around; he had been drinking here, which caused the room to smell like beer. The small table was in 2 pieces and the chair was nowhere to be found. The window was broken, and the door was bent. Dean sighed. No bruises, but a room to clean up.  _Great_

While Dean cleaned up the room and tried to sleep when the cold wind blew all around him, Castiel didn't sleep either.

Castiel was sad, and the only thing he wanted was being curled up in Dean's arms and cry. He had suddenly realized it. Dean was going to leave him. Whether it was now, in a week, or in a month, it was going to happen. And Castiel couldn't do anything about it. The only thing he could was spend as much time with Dean as he could.

He thought about how he and Dean had gotten together. How Dean had told him he would like to be friends. How Dean acted different around him and their classmates. How Dean had told the story he never told anyone to Castiel. How Dean had thanked him for accepting him how he was. How Dean had kissed him back.

How Dean had promised Castiel he would come back for him when he and Sam were going to leave. How Dean had been teaching Castiel how to fix cars. Dean's proud smile when Castiel got it right. Dean's proud smile when Sam came home with a good grade. Dean's happy smile when he saw Sam with friends. Dean's smile when he accepted a complement.

The thankful smile he gave Bobby when Bobby had been paying Dean more than Dean had worked for. The satisfying smile when Dean had finally fixed a car that had a lot of different problems. Dean's smile.

Dean's eyes that smiled when Dean smiled. Dean's eyes that looked at Castiel as if Castiel was the most wonderful thing in the world. Dean's eyes that looked right into his own the moment before he kissed Castiel. Dean's eyes, greener than grass. Dean's eyes.

And with that image in his head, Castiel finally drifted off to sleep.

The next day went just like all the others, Castiel got up, went to school, waited for the classes to be over. The endless rambling of Miss Talbot. The endless formulas in his math book. During lunch, he sat with Charlie and they chatted about everything, as always. After what seemed forever, he finally got out of school.

He walked to the garage where he spent his time working, and talking with Dean and Bobby. He had become more and more useful in the garage and he was at the point where he could get a car on his own to fix. They were the easy things to fix, but he could use it as practice and Dean and Bobby could work on the difficult things for a longer time.

That evening, he just had dinner and sat in his room when his phone went off.

_Calling: number unknown_

"Hello?" he asked as he picked up.

"Hey, is this Castiel?" he heard a voice say. It sounded somewhere familiar but so did all the voices over the phone.

"Yes," he answered. "Who are you?"

"It's Sam."

_Oh shit._

"Why... Why are you calling? Is something wrong?" the next thing he heard made him almost throw up his whole dinner.

"Yeah, it's Dean. He's had an accident and is now in the hospital."

 


	12. Chapter 12

Castiel rushed over to the hospital as fast as he could. Luckily for him, the hospital was not very close because he didn’t have a car. As he ran, all kinds of thoughts were going through his head. _What or who had caused Dean’s accident?_ Sam hadn’t said anything. _Is he in life danger? Is he even awake?_ Sam had only told him Dean was in the hospital.

He arrived and needed a moment to catch his breath before he walked in. “Dean Winchester,” he said to the woman behind the desk. “Are you family?” she asked. Should he say yes? “It’s okay, he’s family,” a voice said, and Sam walked towards them. The woman nodded and he walked to Sam. “How is it?” he asked but Sam said nothing and started walking.

“He was driving home from Bobby when he got in a car crash,” Sam suddenly said. “There was this other driver who didn’t see him and drove right into the side of the Impala. They called the first name under ‘family’ in his phone book, which was Bobby. They told him Dean was brought to the hospital and Bobby had said the Impala could be fixed in his garage. He told me, and I just ran straight to the hospital.”

After a short walk, Sam stopped at a door of what Castiel assumed was Dean’s room. “He is unconscious, but no life danger or anything,” he explained. Castiel nodded and opened the door. Dean lay in the bed, looking almost as white as the sheets. Castiel didn’t know what to do. He took one of the chairs next to Dean’s bed and just sat there as Sam took the other one. “You can talk to him. The doctor said maybe he can hear us,” Sam said. Castiel nodded again.

“Hey Dean,” his voice was croaked, as it always was after running. He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what to say, but I hope you wake up soon.” He didn’t know anything else to say, so he just sat on the chair and watched Dean. This was the only time he had ever laid still. Even when Dean did nothing, he always wiggled his foot or fumbled with his fingers.

After 10 minutes, a nurse came in, telling them Dean had to rest. _He is resting already, he isn’t even fucking awake,_ Castiel wanted to say, but he held it back. He nodded and whispered a goodbye to Dean before going out of the room. He offered to walk Sam to Bobby’s and Sam gladly accepted. During the walk home, they didn’t talk much. Castiel felt sorry for Sam, Dean had been his everything besides Bobby.

When they arrived at Bobby’s, Castiel denied the offer to stay too, and headed back home. He looked at his homework, still laying on his desk, and walked right past it. He went to bed, but he couldn’t sleep, thinking about what happened. And that’s when the tears came. He cried for what felt like hours before finally falling to sleep.

The next morning, he had to go to school, as always. He got up, and the minute he stood up, he felt a massive headache. _Great,_ he thought. He went downstairs to get coffee, and saw his mother already sitting at the table. “What happened to you?” she sounded worried. “Have you been crying? Your eyes are all red and puffy.” He nodded and felt the tears coming again.

“Dean… He got in a car crash last night, he’s in the hospital and he hasn’t woken up yet,” he managed to say before breaking into tears again. His mother walked over to him, and gave a hug. As she soothed him, she told him she would call school. “I can’t let you go to school like this, just get some more sleep. I know you are worried, but you need it.” He nodded, and thanked her. As he went back to bed, he could only hope Dean would be okay.

The next day, he went to the hospital the moment he got out of school. When he arrived, he saw Sam sitting there already. “Any news?” he asked, and Sam just shook his head. “I’m sorry, Sam. I know Dean means a lot more to you than only your brother.” Sam looked up, and Castiel saw the sadness and pain in his eyes. “You are too, Cas. Besides Dean, you and Bobby are the best family I have ever got.” Sam said, and Castiel felt his heart warm at those words. “Thank you, Sam; I am very honored by your words.”

The door of Dean’s room opened, and Bobby walked out. “Hey there boy, you okay?” he asked. Castiel just shrugged. “It’ll be alright, he’s not in life danger, and he’ll wake up soon. Don’t worry about it.” Castiel nodded and went inside. Dean was still the same, and after a few minutes he couldn’t handle the sight of it and walked outside.

As Bobby drove them to the garage, they discussed a few things. As long as Dean was in the hospital, Bobby would bring Sam to school in the morning and Castiel would pick him up after school. Luckily, it wasn’t a long walk. Sam would stay at Bobby’s permanently. Castiel worked on a few cars, and when he was about to go home, Bobby told him once more Dean would be okay. Castiel just nodded, but he didn’t really believe it.

The next days were all the same for Castiel. He got up, went to school, sat through all his classes, picked up Sam after school, and together they walked to Bobby. There, he would work until it was time for dinner. Some days, he went home, and other days, he stayed at Bobby’s for dinner so they could visit Dean after. The weekend was the same, except there was no school.

Castiel had also met John again, he had been standing behind Dean’s bed when the door opened and John came in. They exchanged a look, and Castiel went out quickly after saying bye to Dean. He still didn’t like John and he knew very well John didn’t like him either. Castiel hadn’t seen John after that, which he was happy for.

It was Tuesday when Castiel got a call. His classes just had ended and he was about to get Sam when his phone ringed.

_Calling: Bobby Singer_

“Hello?” Castiel said, hoping Bobby called with good news. “Come to the hospital right now, but don’t hurry. We don’t want more accidents, right boy?” Bobby said. “Dean woke up.” And that was all Castiel needed to hear. He left his books in his locker, and ran all the way to the hospital.

_Dean woke up!_ Were all his thoughts while running

 He rushed inside, and looked at the woman behind the desk, who nodded at him.

_Dean woke up!_

He knew he shouldn’t run inside of a hospital, but today, he didn’t care.

_Dean woke up!_

He made a sharp turn and almost bumped into a woman with all kinds of medicines on a cart.

_Dean woke up!_

As he tried to stop at the right door, he slipped a bit and needed to walk a few steps back. He held his hand on the door.

_Dean woke up!_

He opened the door, and there he was. Dean sat on the bed with some pillows stuffed behind his back. He wasn’t as white as he used to be anymore and talked to Sam and Bobby. When he heard the door open, he looked up. Castiel smiled. “Hey, Dean.” he said. Dean looked at him.

“Who are you?”


	13. Chapter 13

_No_

This couldn’t be true. Tears started to form in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to hurt you,” Dean said. Castiel just stood there, watching at Dean. Tears started to form in his eyes as he realized what was happening.

_No_

Dean didn’t recognize him. He didn’t know who Castiel was, he didn’t remember the memories. He didn’t remember how they became friends, he didn’t remember their first kiss, and he didn’t remember those days in the garage where Dean had taught him how to fix cars. He didn’t remember Castiel.

He stood there, Sam and Bobby said something, but he didn’t hear it.

_No_

He turned around, started to walk away, someone gripped his shoulder, but he turned away and started to run. He ran out of the hospital, not caring about anyone running after him. He ran across the streets, all the way home. The only thing he could do was running while tears were streaming out of his eyes.

_No_

He couldn’t see much through the tears, but he didn’t care. Cars were honking as he ran in front of them, people shouted at him as he pushed himself past them, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care if he got overridden by a car, Dean didn’t even remember him. Dean, the boy he cared for the most, the boy he had so great memories with, he didn’t remember him.

_No_

He came home, opened the door, ignored his mother, and ran straight to his room. He threw himself onto the bed and shoved his head in the pillow. As his breath calmed down, he began to cry more. And more, and more and more. Was this what he had waited for all those days besides Dean’s hospital bed?

_No_

He was just calming himself down when his mother came in. She didn’t say anything, but just sat on the bed and pulled him into a hug. Castiel didn’t say anything. He let out a few more silent tears and his breath slowed. His throat and his head hurt from the crying. His feet were aching and his lungs felt like someone stabbed him.

But all of that was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

“He… He woke up,” Castiel managed to choke out. His mother looked at him.

“And?” she said, knowing there was more.

“And he doesn’t remember me.” He whispered, as the tears came back again. He cried for another few minutes. Then, his mother asked something he hadn’t realized before, but it was true.

“You love him, don’t you?”

She wasn’t mad. “It’s okay, as long as you are happy, whether it is a boy or a girl. If you are happy, then I’m happy,” she said. Castiel thanked her. But then he realized it again. _Dean did not remember him._ He thought he hadn’t any tears left, but he was wrong.

That night, both Castiel and his mother stayed up late. Castiel had told her what happened, from the moment they had become friends till now. She had knows a few things, like their friendship, how he hung out with Dean in the garage and Dean teaching him his work. But she never realized how wonderful their friendship had been.

 At 2am, she told Castiel she would call the school tomorrow. “You are gonna go to Dean, and if he wants to know, you’re gonna tell him what you told me. All the memories. I’m not saying he will remember it, but it will help you, trust me.”

When he laid down, Charlie texted him.

_Charlie: hey! I heard Dean has woken up??_

_Castiel: yeah he did_

_Charlie: you seen him already? You sure missed him; you haven’t talked that less in ages!_

_Castiel: I went to visit him, yeah_

_Charlie: something wrong? Love trouble?_

_Castiel: he doesn’t remember me_

_Charlie: you’re kidding_

_Castiel: if only_

_Charlie: that sucks… need anything?_

_Castiel: nah, thanks anyways. Gonna go to sleep, see you_

_Charlie: big hugs, no worries and sleep well_

 

The next day, Castiel did as his mother said, but before he went to the hospital, he walked to the garage. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have run away yesterday,” he said to Bobby. Bobby assured him it was okay.

“I understand it; I would do the same if I were you. Just glad you got home safe, boy.” Then Castiel told him of his mothers plan, and Bobby told him good luck before he went to visit Dean.

As he came in, the woman behind the desk asked him if he was okay, and what happened. Castiel just said he panicked but that everything was okay now. _If only it was okay._ She nodded and he went to Dean. He waited a few minutes before knocking on the door, to prepare himself.

He could do this.

He had to do this.

“Come in,” Dean’s voice said, and Castiel opened the door. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey there,” Dean replied. “You ran away yesterday. Why?” Castiel swallowed.

“I just… you didn’t remember me and I got so sad I ran away,” he explained.

“Do we… do we have a big history?” Dean asked.

“Pretty big,” Castiel admitted. “Shall I tell you?” He hoped Dean would say no.

 “Yeah please, I’d like to know.” Castiel sighed and sat on the chair next to Dean’s bed.

“Okay, so my name is Castiel, and I’ve been your best friend for the past months. It will probably surprising we are friends because you don’t make any friends so you won’t have to say goodbye when you’re leaving again. We weren’t friends at first, I just was supposed to show you around, but you befriended me because you thought I…”

 This was hard to do. Harder than Castiel ever thought it would be.

 “You thought I was special.”

 

“And then you told me your story and I kissed you. I regretted it the moment I did it but you kissed back and that’s how we got… together.” Castiel finished the first part of his story. He felt the tears coming, but he held them back. He looked down when he felt Deans hand on his arm.

“Hey, you seem like a great guy. I understand why I befriended you,” Dean said softly. And with that, Castiel couldn’t hold it back any more.

He let the tears fall, silently, looking away. He didn’t want Dean to feel sorry for making him cry. It wasn’t Dean’s fault. He heard Dean move in his bed, but still didn’t look. He closed his eyes and tried to stop crying, this was not what Dean deserved after his crash. He was about to take a deep breath when he felt something: Dean’s arms. Around him.

_Dean is hugging me._

He froze, not knowing what to do, but as soon as Dean’s arms closed around him more, he leaned into the touch and let go. Dean’s arm took him to the bed and there he sat, still crying. He looked Dean in the eyes, the grass green he had missed so much past week, and Dean pulled him closer so he could lay his head on Dean’s chest.

More tears fell, but Castiel closed his eyes and smiled. It felt so comfortable, he had missed this. And even if Dean didn’t remember him, it was still Dean, hugging him. Castiel didn’t know if it was because Dean felt sorry for him or because he wanted to, but he also didn’t care.

_Dean is hugging me._

 

He woke up 15 minutes later by Dean, shaking him lightly and telling him he had to go home. “I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Castiel stumbled.

“It’s okay,” Dean smiled. “But the nurse told me I have to go to sleep so… will I see you soon for the next part of our story?” Castiel felt his heart warm. _Dean wanted to know what happened between them. He wants to remember it again._

“Of course, I will come by soon.” Castiel smiled back and walked to the door.

Right before he closed the door, he looked at Dean once more, and thought he saw a glimpse of recognition in Dean’s eyes. _I must have imagined it._

He walked home; much calmer than he had been day before. Dean wanted to know what happened, that was a good sign. And whether he would remember Castiel someday or not, as long as Dean was willing to talk with him, it was okay. He came home with a smile on his face and thanked his mother again.

“He wants to hear the rest of the story,” he said, which caused his mother to smile happily at him.

That night, he lay in bed, thinking. He thought of all the things he would tell Dean, all the memories they created. And maybe, they could make a new start. Maybe, Dean could get to know him all again. Maybe, Dean would go with him to the lake again, the lake where they had their first kiss.

_Maybe, it would all end well._

And as he still cried a bit about how Dean didn’t remember him, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	14. Chapter 14

And so it happened that Castiel came to the hospital almost every day, sometimes he told Dean about their time together, sometimes Dean would pull him into a hug and they just sat there for a long time, and sometimes, Dean had to sleep and Castiel just sat there, watching him.

Even in his sleep, Dean looked worried. Worried about Sam, worried about who would get him food, and even worried about Castiel. But Dean Winchester wasn’t someone who would worry about himself. He didn’t even care about the hospital; he just wanted to get out soon so he could go back to Sam.

Sam and Bobby came by almost as much as Castiel. Sometimes the four of them just sat together in Dean’s room, talking, and there were times where Sam, Bobby or Castiel wanted to speak with Dean alone. One time, Castiel just walked away when he overheard Bobby say something to Dean.

“You can’t keep this up much longer, boy. I see it when I look at you,” he mumbled.

“But I have to,” Dean whispered back. “I have no other choice.”

Castiel wondered what that was about, but he didn’t ask. He knew both Dean and Bobby wouldn’t be very happy Castiel had heard a part of their private conversation, and besides, it wasn’t Castiel’s business. He walked to the cafeteria where Sam sat. As he got a drink from the machine and sat at the table, he said hey. They chatted for a few minutes when Sam suddenly got a bit emotional.

“I never said thank you, even when you deserve it. You have done so much, for both me and Dean.” Castiel wanted to tell Sam it was okay, but Sam was clearly not done yet.

“You have given Dean such a good time, and I haven’t seen him that happy in years. Even now that he doesn’t remember you, I know you still haven’t walked away, and that means a lot to him. He won’t say it himself, but I am his brother and I know it.” Sam cleared his throat before he went on.

“And also, you’ve done so much for me. You walk with me every day from school to Bobby and you’ve cared so much for me… It’s like I have a second brother. Even when Dean wasn’t in the hospital you came by and you always helped me with my homework or brought me a new book, I wanted to thank you for that, so yeah.” It was silent for a minute.

“Thanks,” Castiel replied. “I don’t really know how to say it but I’m really honored by your words.”

Before any of them could say anything else, Bobby walked towards them, and their “chick-flick” moment was over. However, Castiel kept thinking about it on the way home. Had he really been that much of an impact on Dean’s mood? Sure, Dean was happy when he saw Castiel but Castiel never knew how much that was for someone like Dean.

The next day, he went to Dean again for the last part of his story. He told Dean about how he had been teaching Castiel things in the garage, how Dean had been smiling proudly when Castiel did something right.

He told Dean about how much he missed Dean during his classes, and he even told about Miss Talbot, who had been a lot nicer since Dean stopped showing up.

“Do they ask for me, our classmates?” Dean asked. Castiel shook his head. “No, you’ve only been there for a few weeks; I don’t even think they remember you. They’re all too busy with the upcoming dance event and all the other stupid things in their own little worlds.” Dean nodded. “Good. That means you’re not getting any questions because of me and I don’t have to feel guilty for leaving you there.”

They chatted some more, and then Castiel had to go home. “When will I see you again?” Dean asked. Castiel smiled, Dean had always asked that at the end of his visit.

“I don’t know, we’ve got a pretty big project coming up, but I’ll make some time for you,” he promised. Dean’s face lit up, and right after, he sunk in a deep sleep. He had been awake for too long already. His wounds were healed well, but he still needed his rest.

As Castiel walked out of the room and closed the door, he almost bumped into John Winchester. “He… He’s asleep,” he stumbled, not knowing what to say. But John didn’t come here for Dean.

 “Good. I need to talk to you,” he told. Castiel froze. What did John want from him?

“You’ve been around Dean more often than I would like, and I have no idea what you’re trying to bring him in to, by my son is no faggot. So if I ever see you try anything, I will personally come here and kick your ass. I don’t trust you, and I don’t care what Dean says, it won’t change my mind. Now get out here, and I’ll wait till he wakes up again.”

Castiel nodded quickly before walking away, almost running. Had John known of the relationship between him and Dean? Or was it just a lucky guess? They had been hiding it well, Castiel thought. If he ever came by at Dean’s house, he made sure to always bring his bag with some books, so if John came home they’d have an excuse. Sam hadn’t known anything either, the only others who knew about it were Bobby and Charlie.

Suddenly, Castiel realized he had been focusing on Dean so much, he had practically forgotten Charlie. He felt shame, Charlie had been his only and best friend, but since Dean had come around, she had been the third wheel. He quickly texted Charlie on his way home and asked if she wanted to hang out the next day.

She responded as only Charlie could: ‘ _he finally got caught up with all your chick-flick moments?”_ she said.

He laughed, and responded with “ _yeah that too, but I just realized I have been ignoring you a bit (not on purpose)”_.

_“Hey that’s okay, I understand it. Now that we talk about it, I have seen this girl and I need you to talk to her and see if she’s into guys or not… we’ll discuss it tomorrow. Your house after school?”_

Castiel said that was okay, and put on some music while walking home. He smiled as he heard one of Dean’s favorite numbers, “Eye Of The Tiger”. One time in the garage, Dean had sung the whole song while doing some strange dance thing on the top of a car.

_Those were the good times._ He hoped they would get more of those when Dean got out of the hospital. He was almost healed, and they didn’t find any weird things in his brain. He still wondered why Dean could remember all of what happened, except Castiel.

 At least he had told Dean everything now, maybe it would come back soon. Otherwise, they could just start over again, if Dean wanted to.

The next day, Castiel went to school as always, and after school he and Charlie walked home. She didn’t have a car either, but luckily she was just like Castiel and didn’t mind a walk. They chatted a bit on the walk home and complained about all the homework they had gotten. Charlie took other classes than Castiel but both of them had so much to do; there was barely time to relax.

Castiel’s mother was also happy to see Charlie again. “It has been too long,” she said before pulling Charlie into a hug.

“Thanks Mrs. Novak, I’m happy to be here again.” They went to Castiel’s room and the longer they talked, the more he realized how much he had missed. As Charlie put out a picture of a girl, she told him about how awesome the girl was, and that she played the same games, and how nice it would be if she liked Charlie back.

“Would she like me? I mean, I’m just a girl like all the others,” Charlie said, thinking.

“Of course you are not! You are amazing, and the best friend I’ve ever had! And besides, you’re so weird, there’s no one like you,” Castiel teased her, but she knew he didn’t mean it. He said she had to take the change and go for it herself; maybe sending Castiel to girls was the wrong way. “

I’m sure she’ll like you, so why not try? If she doesn’t, you can use my shoulder to cry on.”

Charlie laughed and they talked about a lot of other things before she had to go home. “Bye Cassie, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow if you’re not skipping class for a certain person!” Charlie winked.

“Nah, I will go after school. Nice to hang out again, see you!”

 

When Castiel got out of school the next day, he rushed to the hospital. Luckily, today he was the only one to visit Dean and after a short knock on the door, he entered the room. Dean looked like he was sleeping, but as soon as he heard the door, he opened his eyes.

“Hey there! Haven’t seen you yesterday.” Dean looked a bit sad as he said that.

“I hung out with Charlie yesterday, but hey I’m here today, right?” Dean smiled at his reply and gave him a hug.

As they talked, Castiel noticed how sad Dean looked. He asked if something was wrong, but Dean assured him everything was alright. “I just wanted to ask something, but I don’t know how.” He explained.

 “Well, try me, I can handle pretty much.” Castiel was curious. Dean who didn’t know how to ask something? That was new, but after all, Dean had just heard their past weeks together, and Castiel could imagine how that must feel.

If someone had come up to him and told him they had been boyfriends for the past weeks, he wouldn’t believe it either. “Hey? You there? You dozed off for a moment I think,” Dean said and Castiel snapped out of his thoughts.

“Yea sorry, what did you want to ask?” Dean looked away and swallowed before he asked something Castiel could have only dreamed of.

“I thought about all you told me, and I wanted to ask… Can I kiss you? I know it seems weird but I just…”

At first, Castiel thought he had been imagining it, but Dean was still there, green eyes looking at him, an expecting look on his face. “Of course you can, I thought it would be weird for you so I didn’t talk about it that much,” Castiel replied.

 Dean just smiled, and kept looking as he leaned towards Castiel. One more look into those green eyes before Castiel shut his own and pressed their lips together, just like he did with their first kiss.

They started off slow, but soon, Dean became more passionate. He pulled his hand in Castiel’s hair and the other one around his neck. Castiel’s arms slid around Dean’s waist and pulled him close.

This felt better than ever, and he only now realized how much he had missed this, how much he had missed _Dean._

Their kiss came abruptly to an end when a nurse walked in. they didn’t realize it at first, but she coughed awkwardly and laughed. “You’re cute together,” she said. “But sadly, you’ll have to come back another time because right now, Dean needs to sleep.” Castiel nodded and looked into Dean’s eyes once more before mumbling a goodbye and going out of the room.

He didn’t see Dean’s sad face; he didn’t hear Dean’s mumbled words. He didn’t know what was going to happen, and if he did, he probably would have stayed longer, watching Dean sleep. But he didn’t know, and therefore he went home as always, to come back the next day.

 

Castiel had been excited the whole day; he couldn’t wait to see Dean again. He wanted to tell him how great it felt to kiss again. How much he had missed it, and how glad he was Dean didn’t reject him. When it was finally time to go home, he sprinted the whole way to the hospital, causing him to need a minute to catch his breath.

 He walked inside, straight to Dean’s room. The door was open, which was weird. Dean’s door had always been closed.

He walked in, and needed a moment. The room was empty. The bed was empty, and looked like Dean had never been there. Had it all been a bad dream? He turned around and went to the woman behind the desk.

 “Hey, I wanted to ask something… room 324, Dean Winchester, could you search that for me please?” The woman typed something, and looked at the screen before turning back to Castiel.

“He has been released last night; I thought he would have told you.” Castiel thanked her and walked outside, wondering why Dean hadn’t told him.

_Maybe he wanted to surprise me? But he didn’t do such things. Why didn’t he tell me?_ He arrived at Dean’s house and his heart stopped. There was no Impala, the curtains were open and it looked like no one had been there. But there had been, Castiel saw a certain spot on the kitchen table from when Sam had accidentally dropped his food and they couldn’t get it fully cleaned up.

He started to worry and ran to Bobby’s. As he walked in through the garage, Bobby saw him coming and walked towards him. “Hey there, boy,” was his usual greet.

“Dean… Castiel choked out, and burst out in tears. Dean wasn’t here either, and there was no other place he could be.

“I was there last night,” Bobby said. “I care for Dean like he’s my own son, and I’ve talked to him. He told me something, and I think it will be clear for you in a while. Last night, he asked me to give this to you,” he held out a few papers as he spoke. “I suggest you go home, and read it there. Don’t want any accidents to happen, do we boy?”

Castiel couldn’t do anything but nod. He thanked Bobby and took the papers. The whole way home, his mind was full of thoughts. _Dean is gone. Gone. Why didn’t he tell me? Why did he tell Bobby and not me? He just kissed me yesterday and now he’s gone? Where did he go?_

He arrived home and went straight to his room. He sat on his bed and opened the papers. As he read the first two words, he froze.

_Dear Cas,_


	15. Chapter 15

_He hadn't told Dean his nickname._

For a few minutes, Castiel just stared at those words before he finally read on.

 

_Dear Cas,_

_First of all: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’m also sorry you had to receive this from Bobby but there was no other way. There are so many things to be sorry for, but the thing I’m sorry for the most is that you had to go through all this._

_Because, Cas, I remember you. How could I forget you? I remember everything, every detail, and every smile of yours. I remember your eyes, those big shiny pools of ocean colored eyes, looking at me like I was the best thing that ever happened to you. And of you didn’t feel that way, I want you to know that I did. Besides Sammy, you’ve been the best thing that happened to me for the past 13 years._

_Now I hear you asking, “Then why are you telling me this way?” and well, I’ll try to explain._

_Once we arrived here, I thought it would be just like all the other towns we have been to. we would arrive, be here for a few months, maybe a few weeks, and leave again. Because that’s how it has always been. But this time, I saw you walking towards me that first day and I must admit: I had no idea what to expect from someone that looked like you._

_A trench coat, who wears those things? Apparently, you did. Then, the “usual” school’s clothes, a sweater, jeans and sneakers. But the hair, damn it. It looked like you stepped right out of bed. As you came closer I looked into your eyes and I have never ever seen a blue that beautiful before._

_I tried to have a normal life, Cas, go to school, go to work, take care of Sammy. Just the usual before we would leave again. But I befriended you, something I will never ever regret. We became pretty close and the moment you first kissed me, I felt something I have never felt before. It just felt so right. We had to keep it secret, my dad is homophobic, as you may have noticed. Now, the problem was: I knew I would leave again. I didn’t know whether it would be soon or not, but the day would come._

_But the moment we actually started dating, I stopped thinking about all those problems. I worried less about my dad, he was behaving well, and so I just kept on going. I took care of Sammy, I went to school, I even did my homework a few times (of course not enough times for those stupid teachers, but hey, what do they know about me?), and I went to work. Meanwhile I hung out a few times with you, and I spent more time with you than I could dream of._

_And those times with you, Cas, I was lost. It’s weird to explain it like this, but it’s true. I was lost, lost in your eyes, lost in your happiness, lost in your kind words, lost in your hugs. And most of all, lost in your kisses. With every kiss, I felt my own happiness come back, the happiness I haven’t felt for a long, long time. I want to thank you for that, for making me feel that way._

_On the other side, it wasn’t a good thing. Because while I was lost, I didn’t think about the fact that the reason we always leave is my dad. I didn’t think about him and how he would be coming home one day, drunk and angry. I didn’t think about how we would have to leave again, and I certainly didn’t think about saying goodbye any time to you. And then, one day, it happened. And the moment John hit me, I felt everything come back._

_With that hit, and the punches after, I felt back into the real world. I remembered this was him when he was drunk. I remembered why I protected Sammy so much. I remembered this was why I didn’t befriend anyone any more. But it was already too late, I couldn’t let you go. So I just kept working, kept saving money, and protecting Sammy. I gave up school, once again, and I just worked. I tried to spend as much time with you as I could, maybe you’ve noticed it._

_When the accident happened, my first thoughts were Sam and You. I couldn’t die, I had to take care of Sam and I hadn’t spent enough time with you. But when I woke up in the hospital, I realized it. We would leave as soon as I was healed, I knew it would happen. I faked it all, and you have no idea how hard it was. How much I just wanted to hug you and tell you everything would be okay._

_I wasn’t planning on letting you tell our past, but I couldn’t hold back. It was nice to hear your thoughts about it, about me. You looked so sad, it was almost undoable but I held myself back and kept acting. When you started crying, my arms were around you before I could even think about it. You were so happy I actually wanted to listen._

_I talked to Bobby; he is the only one who knows I faked it all. But you have to understand one thing; I did it to protect you. If I would have acted like I remembered you, my dad would probably threaten you and I couldn’t do anything as long as I was in the hospital. He told me I would have to tell you one way, so I decided to write a letter._

_Yesterday was the hardest of all. I couldn’t hold myself back; I had to kiss you at least one more time. You have no idea how good it felt. I had missed it so much. I had missed you so much, but I had to do it this way. That kiss was my goodbye to you, Cas. In that kiss, I put everything I couldn’t put into words; maybe you felt it, maybe not. I hope you enjoyed it at least, even if it was the last one._

_Now Cas, I want you to do one thing for me: be happy. I can probably not ask you to forget me, but I need you to be happy. You need to do it, because I can’t be there for you anymore. Hang out with Charlie, check out guys, or girls, I don’t know. As long as you’re happy, I’m okay. Also, keep your job at Bobby’s, he’ll need your help and you seem to enjoy it. Tell him I will miss him and that I loved him as a father. He has been a better father to be than John ever has been since mom died. Tell him I can never thank enough for what he has done for us. Can you do that for me?_

_I’m gonna do what I’ve always been doing: I will be on the road again, to another town, and I will save money, I will take care of Sammy, and one day I will leave. We, I and Sammy will leave John. And remember it? Remember what you asked? You wanted to come with us. And I promised I would come for you. Once I have enough money, I will take Sam, and I will find you._

_And I really hope that when that day comes, you’ll be happy. Maybe you’ll have a girlfriend, maybe you’ll have a boyfriend, maybe you’ll have kids, who knows? But I promised, I will come back for you. And even if you’re not going with us, when that moment comes, I want you to know that I’m okay so you can live your life without any worries. Because I know you’ll be worrying about me. But don’t do it, it’s not worth it. My life is as it is now, and nothing can change that._

_You know I don’t do feelings, but I wanted to tell you something. I have been wanting to tell you for a long time now, but I never got the change. Luckily you didn’t hear me when you walked away after that last kiss. I mumbled it, it wasn’t meant to and I’m so glad you didn’t hear me. that would’ve only made it worse._

_Because, Cas, I care about you, a lot. You know that. I like you, more than I should ever have, but again, I have no regrets. Castiel Novak, my best friend, the one that could make me happy on the worst days. My boyfriend, which I couldn’t scream off the rooftops, sadly (if I could I would’ve done it). I want to thank you for the amazing time we had together, and I wished I could’ve said it in real life but I have to do it this way._

_I love you._

_You’re amazing, awesome, sweet, kind, and all the other good things you can be._

_I’m so sorry I had to tell this all this way, but I hope you understand it. I’ll come back for you, I promise. Now until that time: try to be happy, do it for me, I know you can._

_I don’t like to say goodbye, so: till we meet again_

_I love you_


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You gotta thank my sister for the fact that this epilogue exists, I was originally planning on letting it end with chapter 15 *insert Lucifer evil smile gif here*  
> Anyways, I do have a happy epilogue so enjoy!

“I want to thank my teachers, my mother, and my best friend Charlie,” Castiel said into the microphone. It was the end of the school year and he had passed his final exams. He had his graduation paper in his hand and smiled to where his mother was sitting, knowing she’d take pictures of him. He didn’t know what to say next. He wanted to thank one more person, but what was the point if he wasn’t even there?

He fell silent for a moment and smiled through his pain. Charlie had been there for him, and he had to manage to stay strong till this day was over. He opened his mouth to say he was happy he graduated, but was interrupted by the door opening. He looked up and his breath hitched in his throat.

“CAS!”

Right there, was Dean Winchester. Dean fucking Winchester. “Congratulations Cas, I knew you could do it!” Dean yelled.

Castiel still didn’t talk or move. This couldn’t be real. But when he heard Charlie let out a scream behind him, he realized this was all very real. He took a deep breath and went on with his small speech.

“And I want to thank Dean for helping me going through this year, and for keeping his promise.” Castiel smiled and the people clapped for him, still mumbling who that guy would be and what he was doing here.

As the other people all got their diploma, Castiel just stood there, looking at Dean. He could almost see the sparkles in the green eyes he had missed so much. He didn’t hear anything of what the others said, he didn’t even look at them, afraid that if he would look away, Dean would be gone.

Finally, everyone got their diploma and after throwing their hats in the air, they started to walk off the small stage they were standing on. He looked at his mother, who just smiled and waved him off. She’d be hugging him later; he first had to talk to Dean.

All the people around Castiel were hugging each other, laughing, crying, telling others goodbye, but he didn’t care. His mind was blank; he had no idea what to do. Hug Dean? Kiss him? What if Dean just came to say hello before he had to leave again? But all his thoughts were forgotten when Dean wrapped his arms around him and hugged Castiel so tight, his spine could break.

But Castiel didn’t care. He hugged Dean back as if his life depended on it, and closed his eyes, breathing in Dean’s scent. After almost 2 minutes, Dean started to pull way slightly. They heard laughing behind them and saw Charlie and Castiel’s mother standing there. Castiel threw himself in his mother’s arms and in Charlie’s not short after it.

“So you must be Dean,” his mother said. She had never met Dean before, but he looked exactly like Castiel had described him to her.

“That I am,” Dean replied nervously, not knowing if Castiel’s mother was angry at him for leaving. Maybe Castiel had thrown a lie, maybe he had told the truth. His worries were gone when Castiel’s mother smiled at him.

“I’m glad I can finally meet you. He made a good choice, I must say,” she said, which caused Dean to blush. She laughed and said something to Castiel. He nodded and she walked away.

Soon, Charlie was leaving too, shouting she’d text him later, and Castiel and Dean were alone in the group of people.

“You wanna say goodbye to anyone here?” Dean asked. He hoped not, he wanted nothing more than to just have Castiel in his arms again. To his luck, Castiel shook his head and smiled.

“Let’s just go, my mother said she will meet us at home. You are welcome to spend the rest of the day at my place. And of course Sam will be welcome too,” he added when he saw Sam sitting in the Impala.

As soon as Sam noticed Dean and Castiel walking towards the car, he jumped out and gave Castiel a hug that was comparable with the one Dean had given. “I missed you,” he whispered. “And I still have all the books you gave me.” Castiel held him close, and smiled when he heard Sam say something else. “I’m okay with you and Dean together, I always saw you as a second brother. Thank you.”

In the ride to Castiel’s house, not many words were spoken. Castiel sat shotgun, holding Dean’s hand. He had missed times like this so much. Dean was humming to some song on the radio, and Castiel recognized it as one he had heard at Bobby’s.

_“I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you_

_I know you were right, believing for so long_

_I’m all out of love, what am I without you_

_I can’t be too late to say I was so wrong”_

Both Castiel and Dean sang along, gripping each other’s hand even more tightly. The lyrics seemed to fit perfectly with the situation they had been in while being apart from each other.

When they reached Castiel’s house, his mother was waiting for them already. She welcomed them and said Castiel had to change his clothes. Dean and Sam stood downstairs, and he heard Dean and his mother talk softly.

His mother made dinner, lasagna and they all chatted and had a good time. After dinner, Dean and Castiel went upstairs while Sam had gotten a book to read. Castiel didn’t know what was gonna happen. Was Dean leaving him again? Why did Dean want to talk to him in private?

They sat on Castiel’s bed, no knowing how to act. It was silent for a minute, and then they started talking at the same time.

“Cas.”

“Dean,”

They laughed. “Dean,” Castiel started. “I just wanted to say that I don’t mind if you can only be here for a short time, even if you have to leave in five minutes, I won’t mind. I want you know how much I missed you and how happy I am to see you now. I will understand it, whatever you have to say. And I won’t be mad.” Dean just looked at him.

“Well, I am going to leave soon, maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow,” he said. Castiel felt his heart sink, but he didn’t show it. He had said he would accept it and wouldn’t be angry.

“But I wanted to ask you if you would like to come with me.”

Wait _what?_

“Remember in the garage, when I told you I was going to leave someday. Remember my letter, I promised I’d come back to get you. And now I did. I keep my promises, Cas.”

_What was happening?_

“And I understand it if you don’t want to come with us, Sammy and me. Because you’re still only 17, and you have a goof life here.”

_Did Dean just ask him to come with them?_

“But if you want to, I talked to your mother, and she is okay with it. She trusts me, and you.”

_Going away? With Dean? Just like he had always imagined?_

“Cas?”

_Seeing Dean every day? Wake up, knowing Dean would be there?_

“Cas? Are you okay? I can.. I can always leave without you if you want, I can-“

“Dean”

“Cas I know it’s a big thing to ask of you, you can think about it and-“

“Dean, _shut up”_

“O..kay?”

“Dean I was afraid of what you were gonna tell me, and I was so silent because I couldn’t believe it. There is nothing I wanna do more than go with you. I just.. I already got accepted to Stanford, so that may give us some problems.” Castiel still couldn’t believe it.

Dean was silent for only a moment before he practically threw himself on Castiel, whispering how happy he was Castiel would go with them, and how Sam could go to Stanford after a few years, but most of all he told Castiel how much he had missed him. Suddenly, he pulled away and his face cot serious.

“I am so sorry for lying to you the entire time in the hospital, Cas. I feel so bad about it, but I just… I couldn’t do anything else. It was for the best of both of us,” he said. His face looked sad and guilty, but Castiel didn’t even care about it. He had all he could wish for: Dean. _Had he?_

“Dean? Can I… can I kiss you?” Castiel asked, nervously. He didn’t know what Dean would say. They hadn’t done anything but hugging and talking yet, and the last time Dean had kissed him was in the hospital, his own secret goodbye to Castiel. But Dean’s face lighted up as if he had seen the sun after 4 months of darkness.

“I thought you would never ask! I didn’t ask it, because I was afraid you didn’t want me that way anymore and I-“

He was shut up by Castiel, who pressed his lips against Dean. It started soft, as a welcome back, but soon they were grasping each other’s shirts, one hand around Castiel’s waist, one hand around Dean’s neck, another hand, cupping Castiel’s jaw, hungry for each other.

They kissed like it was the last kiss they’d ever share, and within a minute they were just one big mess of tears, smiles, laughter, and most of all: sweetness. Because this was a kiss no one could steal from them. This kiss said “welcome back” as much as “I am never gonna let you go again”.

After a while, they just laid on Castiel’s bad, smiling, cuddling, and enjoying the feeling of being with the other again.

When they came back downstairs, the first thing Castiel did was giving his mother a big hug. “Thank you so much,” he whispered in her ear. She was the one who had been raising him, she was the one who had been hearing all the stories about how much Castiel hated school, everything about Dean, she was the one who had said he should tell Dean their history when Dean “didn’t remember”  him. She had done so much for him, and yet, she still gave him this opportunity.

That night, they sat around the table, talking for hours, catching up. Dean told them how he, his dad and Sammy had been going to yet another town, Sam going to school; Dean had just searched for a job, knowing he wouldn’t go to school anyways. He sounded like he always did when he talked about Sam: _proud as if it was his own son._

Castiel told them how school had been when Dean was gone, how glad Bobby had been with Castiel’s help. He had been doing a really good job in the garage. He also told how much it had saddened him how less people had realized Dean was gone. It was as if he never even existed.

They decided it was the best for them to stay a few days in this town before moving out. They had to pack bags, plan out their route and say goodbye to a few people.

At 3am, Sam had fallen asleep against Dean, snoring lightly. Dean smiled and picked him up like it was nothing. _He had probably done this many times before._ Dean put Sam on the couch, pulled of Sam’s shoes and got a blanket to cover him. When he was done, he looked at Castiel and his mother.

“You can both sleep in Castiel’s room, I will be there when Sam wakes up,” she just said. Dean thanked her and they went upstairs. They lied in bed, and right before Castiel went to sleep, Dean shook him awake. “I got something important to say,” he said.

_Was this a good or a bad thing?_

Dean pulled Castiel even closer, so that their foreheads touched. Blue met green, and both stared for a minute into each other’s before Dean finally said something.

“I love you.”

 

The next days all of them were busy, Dean, Castiel and Sam went to Bobby. The old man was happy to see them again, and understood Castiel went with Dean. “I know you’d be leaving once you’d go to college, so I’m not surprised actually,” he said. “Good to see you back again, boys.  Be safe and maybe I’ll see you again someday.” He hugged Dean and Sam tightly, and Castiel right after that.

They also went to Charlie, who, apparently went to the same college as Castiel, and had decided to move into the same town as well. “I still need someone to check out the booty for me!” she joked, but they all knew Charlie and Castiel had been such good friends; they’d not leave each other that easy.

 

After 3 days of packing and organizing everything, they were finally ready to go. Dean had spotted a small apartment they could live in, and Castiel’s mother said she and Bobby would pay for Castiel’s college and Sam’s school. How Dean had gotten the money was something he hadn’t told, and Castiel didn’t know if he was ever going to tell it. But he was okay with it, Dean was smart and he knew what was wrong or right.

After a few hugs and a lot of tears with Castiel’s mother, they got into the Impala and drove away as the sun set. Castiel always thought it as cliché: driving into a sunset, in a car with someone you love was something that only happened in books and movies. Yet, he sat there in the Impala with Dean, and Sam, driving into the sunset.

“Can I make actual friends now?” Sam asked after a while. Dean raised his eyebrow.

“Why of course Sammy, you always could!” he answered. Sam said nothing and looked out of the window.

“I only made friends so I wouldn’t be alone all the time. Someone with no friends gets bullied, and I didn’t want you worrying over me more than you already did,” he finally answered after a few minutes of silence. “You did things for me no one else ever does with their siblings. I know dad drank, and I know why I was at Bobby’s so much. I just didn’t want you to worry so I acted like I didn’t know anything.”

It was silent and both Dean and Castiel thought about what Sam just said when he started talking again.

“I’m happy we’re leaving. I will miss that town, and I will miss Bobby for sure, but I am happy I can make real friends now, and I am happy I have 2 brothers who love me and care for me.”

 _That kid is smart,_ Castiel thought. Sam would do great in school.

Dean dealt with this “chick-flick”-situation as he always did, and as Sam and Castiel knew he would. He put in a tape and once the music started, all three of them sang along, driving with the people they loved, ready to start a new life with less trouble and more time for love.

_“Carry on my wayward son_

_There’ll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don’t you cry no more”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to publish the other chapters too since I am bored and I hate studying.  
> Also, since this fic is completed now, I will soon start publishing my other fic here too.  
> I really hope you enjoyed this one :)  
> Thanks for reading y'all, it means a lot to me :D  
> \- Luci
> 
> Feel free to check my Tumblr irontallica666 any time for more fics, drabbles and SPN posts :)


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